When you don't like your condition, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable and then you will become comfortable. Eckhart Tolle.

Continuation of the article "Harmful and good habits. How NOT to fight bad habits." And how to get rid of bad habits and addictions?

Bad habits, addictions, chronic diseases appear when:

1. A person does not see, does not realize his current, unsatisfied needs;
2. Sees them, but considers them insignificant;
3. Sees and does not know how to satisfy them, because: 3.1. Does not know or apply the rights that every person has (see Rights and responsibilities of a happy person);
3.2. Exaggerates his responsibilities to others, focuses on public opinion, stereotypical behavior.

Thus, bad habits and addictions arise when there is a suitable foundation (urgent, unmet needs) and when there is no best options to satisfy them.

Experts sometimes give strange recommendations. Let's look at which ones and why. Those who are nervous during a performance or feel insecure when communicating are advised to indulge their disturbing symptoms in every possible way. For example, if you feel a lump in your throat, focus your attention on that lump. And don't fight him. On the contrary, help him. Imagine it (the lump) larger and heavier, in some color. “Try” because with such attention the lump will begin to melt and shrink. If trembling knees (and other nervous tremors) bother you, direct your mental attention to the trembling place. It usually helps right away. If not yet, then consciously force those knees to tremble. Better yet, shake your whole body. And the involuntary trembling will subside on its own.

A case study will help you understand what the secret is. famous psychologist, the founder of Ericksonian hypnosis - Milton Erickson.

A fifteen-year-old girl was constantly biting her nails. Her parents called me and told me how their daughter had been driving them crazy all day with her bad habit. She was biting her nails on the school bus and the driver was getting really annoyed. Teachers complained that she bit her nails.
The girl entered the office, still biting her nails, loudly and defiantly. Her parents were sitting in the next room and could not hear what I was saying to her.
“I want to tell you that you are doing a very stupid thing by biting your nails.”
-You sound the same as my parents.
- No, I'm speaking rationally. You cause relatively little inconvenience to your parents and relatively little inconvenience to the bus driver. You bite your nails everywhere, at school. How many thousands of children are in school? And you bite your nails in front of everyone. Now, if you weren’t stupid, if you were smarter, then you would bite your nails so much that it would really get into your dad’s liver. Talking to your parents, I realized that your afternoons follow a strict schedule. Your dad is reading the latest newspaper. He sits down and reads it from cover to cover. I made your parents promise that they would not say a word to you about your habit. They won't tell you anything about it at all.
So please do this. Take the watch. Tonight after dinner, you will sit next to your dad and bite your nails for twenty minutes, and give your mom, who is very punctual by nature, the opportunity to wash the dishes. She loves to sew different things from scraps. After washing the dishes, she always sits down to sew. After you finish biting your nails next to your dad, you sit down next to your mom. Notice the time and bite your nails for another twenty minutes. Gnaw well! And you can enjoy how your parents will internally rage. And they can’t do anything, they gave me their word to remain silent. As for school. Choose the boy you dislike the most and whenever he looks at you, put your finger in his mouth. And really chew on it. Don't waste your fingers on all the teachers in a row. And every time you see your least favorite teacher, put your finger in your mouth and start gnawing diligently."
In less than a month, she discovered that there were plenty of other things to do. I made her habit a must.

When Erickson points out parents' time management, he indirectly draws the girl's attention to the compulsive nature of her nail-biting habit. He invites her to stop being “stupid” (i.e., acting without awareness or without purpose). Then her behavior is no longer a habit beyond control. Now it becomes useful tool expressions negative emotions, but at the same time takes on the form of obligation.

Man is designed in such a way that “obligation” is always perceived as a duty, work and gives little pleasure, while the forbidden acquires additional charm. A few facts as proof of this:

• Surprising but true: winemakers and wine tasters (sommeliers) never become drunkards.
• Freelance artists, in other words freelancers, enjoy their work more when they do it spontaneously than when they do it to order.
• Intimacy before marriage and at first after the wedding is desirable, but later the spouses become cold towards each other. In this case, sex therapists suggest either diversifying intimate life, or... strictly abstain from it for several months. After this time, the spouses most often rush into each other's arms with the passion of newlyweds.
• Have you ever wondered why we have to make efforts to ensure that healthy habits enter our lives and stay there? That's why!

Another important point on the way to getting rid of bad habits - their awareness, concentration only on this process. Thus, those losing weight are recommended to eat only high-quality, fresh food, savoring every bite, feeling its taste, texture, smell, etc. This way, a person becomes full much faster and does not feel hungry longer, keeping in his memory the impressions of the previous meal.

Any person receives the first feeling of pleasure through the mouth, i.e. orally while sucking on the mother's breast or bottle (as a substitute). The child’s world seems to be “black and white” - if he feels good, his mother is calm and nearby, then he feels this pleasure totally, if there is discomfort, then he feels completely bad (probably everyone has heard how a baby screams in such cases). And this experience is embedded in the very depths of the psyche and is fundamental. All oral addictions - food (anxiety eating, bulimia, anorexia, etc.), alcohol and smoking are based on this experience.

An important point in getting rid of the smoking habit (like any other habit) is understanding what kind of anxiety we are “smoking.” Until life becomes more conscious, the habit of reducing the effects of stress through smoking will not disappear. Also, one of the effective options to quit smoking is to turn it into a conscious pleasure. Then the person will smoke significantly less, because he does not automatically grab another cigarette (for example, when he wakes up or when talking with colleagues at work) but sets aside time for conscious smoking (for example, after breakfast or lunch with a cup of coffee). At the same time, it is recommended to buy tobacco and roll the cigars yourself carefully and carefully.

How to realize that you eat, smoke, what needs are satisfied by bad habits?

Greetings to all readers. This step will help you get rid of bad habits: smokers should quit smoking, and for those who drink, I will suggest, as an experiment, not to drink for 30 days. Why now, at this stage? Firstly, because in order to complete the next steps it would be better if you did not smoke or drink, since these steps will be associated with physical activity. Secondly, if you have completed all the previous steps, then you have gained some useful skills in order to get rid of bad habits with less resistance and with more desire. It should be easier now.

Don't be afraid, I'm not telling you to give up alcohol today or forever. In my case, giving up alcohol happened naturally. Over time, my desire to drink began to disappear, the need to relax and spend time in this way disappeared. I believe that breaking bad habits should happen mostly naturally and be accompanied by a sincere inner commitment to stop bullying yourself. Otherwise, you will return to these habits again and again.

But this does not mean that you should sit back and wait until you get tired of drinking or smoking. You will still have to significantly limit your alcohol consumption and work on yourself. This applies to alcohol, but while you complete this step, you will have to quit smoking immediately and for good. You should at least try, if you don't succeed, you'll just move on to the next step and come back to this one later.

I will try to help you quit smoking to the best of my ability by supporting you day by day and helping you through nicotine withdrawal. Read this step, information will be given here for the first few days of quitting cigarettes. For those who want to quit drinking, I will simply publish here a list of tips that will help you cope with addiction and invite you to take part in an experiment: give up any alcohol for 30 days. I don’t see the point in publishing a step-by-step program for getting rid of alcohol addiction, since everyone’s cases are different, while the experience of quitting cigarettes, in principle, may be similar for most.

Self-development and bad habits

Bad habits are not compatible with self-development. Firstly, because they destroy health, and balanced human development implies improvement of the body. Smoking and systematic drinking of alcohol do not go well with sports, which are necessary for every person.

Secondly, drinking alcohol and other drugs gradually destroys the brain. Healthy critical ability and sober assessment of yourself and others disappear (and this often happens unnoticed by you), which also unsatisfactorily meets the needs for personal development.

Thirdly, bad habits can contribute to the development of negative human qualities (many people know how the character of a strong person deteriorates drinking people). Smoking and alcohol provoke problems with nervous system. After all, bad habits are a destructive addiction or the risk of one. Lack of dependence is freedom and choice. Freedom, expressed in the ability to enjoy life without the need to cloud your brain and ruin your health.

Fourthly, the use of drugs and alcohol, including, destroys and undermines a certain fragile mental balance. This is already my observation. To explain it, allow me a small digression. I have written more than once that meditation helped me get rid of addictions, depression, and character problems. — the basis of my self-development system. Perhaps there are other ways of self-development that do not involve practicing such a spiritual discipline as meditation. But I can't teach you what I don't know myself. I can be confident in my words only when I stand firmly on my own experience of positive metamorphoses. This experience includes meditation as an integral element.

The man who once advised me to meditate and, one might say, taught me this technique, himself, by example created an incentive for my studies and dispelled my skepticism. The fact is that this man felt quite well (which could not be said about me at that time) and, for some time, stopped drinking alcohol altogether (which I also really wanted, but did not understand how to achieve). He said that he simply didn’t need it, that’s why he didn’t drink.

Then I, who am used to drinking every day, don’t understand how this might not be necessary?! It seemed to me that everyone needs alcohol, it’s just that some people don’t limit themselves, while others do at the cost of their spiritual comfort. I could understand if someone did not drink for ideological reasons, but because of this they suffered and “broke off”, while the rest did not miss the opportunity to enjoy the pleasant effect of alcohol. But it was completely incomprehensible to me how one could not drink alcohol and at the same time enjoy life, communication, relaxation...

But, after two years of meditation practice, I managed to comprehend this man’s mood. My need for alcohol and other sources of intoxication has disappeared. When I meet with old acquaintances on the occasion of, for example, someone's birthday, they are very surprised that I stopped drinking. And they ask: “What are you doing if you don’t drink? How do you spend your free time? I don’t have any extraordinarily original hobbies and I spend my leisure time like many others: riding a bike, watching movies, reading books, walking, spending time with friends, etc. But the point is not in the classes themselves, the point is what happens inside...

After I started meditating, a feeling of some kind of constant inner comfort began to appear in me. This is not a state of unbridled happiness, not a feeling of intoxicating euphoria, but simply some kind of quiet joy and comfort. Actually, people are looking for a sense of psychological comfort in alcohol and other drugs. But I already have this condition, I don’t need to go to the store to get it, why do I need alcohol? I can relax on my own, why should I ruin my health and cloud my mind? I feel comfortable while relaxing, in fun company. In short, I almost always feel good, why should I drink or smoke?

With the help of meditation practice, I have found a certain balance that I really don’t want to upset. If I drink, even a little, the next day I feel some kind of loss of moral strength. If you drink constantly, you won’t notice it, but the less often you drink, the more noticeable this feeling will be. At these moments, it seems that the balance that is maintained by meditation and sobriety has been shaken. And I really don’t want to upset this balance. This is one of the reasons I don't drink.

You can read thousands of tips on how to quit drinking and smoking, but until you find a sense of inner comfort and balance, it will be difficult for you to do this. My way to achieve such states is meditation. You can come to them in some other way, or you can not reinvent the wheel and follow the path trodden by many generations. After all, meditation has helped many people get rid of addictions. If you have followed the previous steps, then you should already be meditating and it will be much easier for you to quit bad habits. If you haven't been practicing, now is the time to start.

Theory

In my articles, I wrote that in order to get rid of bad habits, it is necessary to eliminate psychological reasons why you smoke or drink. Addiction has two sides - physiological and psychological. You can get rid of physiological dependence by stopping using the substance to which you are accustomed. Over time, your body will rebuild its processes, and you will no longer have a “physical” craving for the drug.

If psychological dependence did not play a significant role, then people would easily quit drinking and smoking and would never return to these habits again. After all, enduring physical “withdrawal” is not so difficult, especially when guided by considerations of caring for your health. But there is something before which these considerations fade, these are the psychological reasons for drug use, something that forms mental dependence.

Many people drink and smoke not because their body is accustomed to the drug. They do this to relax, relieve tension, get rid of “social” inhibitions, drown out grief, gain pleasure and a state of psychological comfort, fill pauses in a conversation, engage their senses, forget themselves, pass the time, get rid of boredom, etc. etc. You see what a wide area of ​​personal needs is affected by the process of drug use, including alcohol and cigarettes!

This is why many people see such joy in smoking and drinking, because it is very strongly connected with the personality, with its desires. If you simply stop satisfying these desires using familiar means, they will not go away and will appear again and again. This is the reason why people cannot quit smoking or drinking so easily. How will they relax? How to endure boredom? How to spend your time?

And, not finding a satisfactory answer to these questions, they again return to harmful “joys”. To get rid of psychological addiction, you need to change your personality. And this is not so simple, although it is certainly possible and this is proven by my example, in particular. To get rid of any temptations that lead to addiction, you need to take a number of comprehensive measures, for example:

• Find a sense of harmony, balance, comfort, joy. (Meditation, yoga, sports activities, working on your inner world, self-development, intellectual development)
• Learn to relax. (Described in the previous step)
• Tolerate loneliness and boredom. Learn to enjoy the absence of any activity.
• . Develop self-discipline.
• Expand the scope of your interests and hobbies.
• Get rid of sensory hunger, the unhealthy need for constant receipt of information and irritation of the senses. (The following articles may be useful: , )

You will find some of the information in the linked articles; a lot more is said in the articles about how to quit drinking and smoking. I posted links to them above. It is necessary to understand that it is impossible to create a completely universal program, since each case of addiction is individual: someone drinks because they are constantly stressed, someone gets rid of boredom in this way, someone drowns out pain, for someone it’s all together... Everyone has different reasons for the emergence of bad habits, and therefore, everyone should pay attention to working with their own reasons and read the relevant materials on my website or in other sources.

It's clear that personality needs to change, but there's nothing stopping you from quitting some bad habits right now. And the positive personality changes that will occur subsequently will ensure that you do not return to these habits again. So there is no reason not to quit smoking or drinking right now! The following tips for every day, will help smokers get rid of this habit that is poisonous to health.

From tomorrow you will not smoke. This day should not stand out from other days in anything special, except that on this day you will quit smoking and never again. That is, you don’t need to wait for a special day: the first of January or the day following your birthday... Quit smoking right tomorrow, in the middle of the week. I did just that: on Tuesday evening I decided that, starting tomorrow, I would not smoke. On Wednesday I no longer smoked at work. Although, before that, on Monday and Tuesday, I, observing the usual rhythm of a smoker, was still talking in the smoking room with colleagues, puffing on a cigarette, and did not even think that this would soon have to end.

You need to quit smoking sharply and immediately. Other methods are not effective. No favors. Starting tomorrow, don’t smoke and that’s it. So in the evening you smoke your last cigarette and from that moment on you are no longer a smoker...

Day 2

It won't be easy. You will feel bad. How bad depends on your smoking history. We'll have to be patient. This must be remembered. Otherwise, underestimating the effects of withdrawal symptoms, you will immediately reach for a cigarette. It will be fine in the morning, but be strong during the day!

Remember, you are not “quitting smoking.” You have already quit smoking! You no longer smoke, even though you smoked your last cigarette yesterday. What happened yesterday was yesterday. Now you are a non-smoker, look at the smokers around you: you are no longer one of them - you do not smoke. Colleagues call “Are you going to smoke?” you answer: “no, I quit,” and not “I’m quitting” or, God forbid: “I’m trying to quit.”

The thought of an action that has already been completed, a completed decision, will help you be more firm in your intention not to return to a cigarette again. You no longer smoke and will not smoke. Otherwise, you are now very much drawn to a cigarette, it’s just side effect withdrawal. It will go away after some time. (I smoked for 6 years, it was hard for the first three days after I stopped, then the syndrome gradually “faded” over two weeks, then that was it. According to my recollections, quitting smoking was very easy, since it really “broke” only a few days. But I haven’t smoked for two years. Quite a reasonable price for this.)

There is no need to identify yourself with withdrawal symptoms. The fact that you are drawn to a cigarette does not mean that you want it, you need it, this is how addiction manifests itself at the physiological level. The body begins to experience something like hunger, which, unlike the usual need for food, can be tolerated. Endure as you endure any physical pain or discomfort that anyone can endure. These are not your desires, this is simply a reaction of the body, expressed in such discomfort.

There is no way for you to relieve this discomfort! No smoking allowed! This is prohibited. Smoking is taboo. Set a strict ban on this in your thoughts. No matter how bad you feel, be patient, it will end. Horror writer Stephen King has a story called "Quit Smoking Inc." It talked about an organization that helped heavy smokers quit smoking. The person who contacted them was under surveillance. If he smokes for the first time, his finger is cut off, if it happens again, his wife or child’s finger is cut off, then worse sanctions follow...

This policy left no room for temptation for the hero of this story to smoke. He simply couldn't do it. What are a few days of weaning worth compared to the prospect of living without a finger!
Tune in to the fact that you, like this character, cannot smoke! What are a few days of withdrawal worth compared to the prospect of ruined lungs, heart and blood vessels? It's even worse than a severed finger!

Brace yourself until next day. Instead of smoking, go for a walk outside or just stand on the balcony. Chew (regular) gum if it makes you feel better. Don't eat too much! There is no need to replace one habit with another, this is not effective at all! When I quit smoking, I didn't gain any weight because I knew about the risk and tried not to eat more than usual.

Day 3

We made it through the first day without cigarettes - consider half the job done. But this is not the time to relax. Today won't be any easier. Get ready. But you don't smoke anymore, and that's very good. In your free time at work or at home, read some article about the effects of nicotine on the brain. Why does addiction and withdrawal syndrome occur, how does this manifest itself at the level of brain mechanisms? It will be very informative and relevant for you. Read also about the dangers of smoking.

If some thoughts come into your head that boil down to smoking (“just one cigarette”), get rid of these thoughts, no matter how convincing they may seem! This is an insidious deception of addiction, which transmits false ideas through your brain. These thoughts may seem very tempting and even reasonable. But don't be deceived! Add all such thoughts to your personal “banlist”. They are easy to weed out from all other thoughts by simple principle: any thought about smoking is a deception!

Hold on!

Day 4

It should be a little easier now. If it’s not there, it will be in a few days. But enduring the “withdrawal” should no longer be so difficult. In the morning, take a deep breath and smell the new smells. After all, the sense of smell is greatly dulled by constant smoking. It should be easier to breathe.

Day 5

Release pent-up energy. Go for a short run or go to the pool. You are now a non-smoker and can afford activities such as running, since your lungs work better.

After a couple of months, if you do not ruin your health in any other way, you will feel an improvement in your overall health. No cigarettes general condition your body is much better: you get tired less, sleep better, your stamina increases, shortness of breath and bad breath disappear.

It's better not to drink alcohol, at least, in the first week of quitting cigarettes, since it’s easier to relapse with alcohol. But if you feel strong enough, you can at the same time start the next experiment and stop drinking for a month.

An experiment for those who want to quit drinking (also relevant for smokers)

Let's do an experiment. I suggest you give up alcohol for 30 days starting tomorrow. If this period seems long to you, it means that you are used to drinking often and, even more so, you need such an experiment.

If it is very easy for you to hold out for 30 days, we extend the period: 2, 3 months, etc.

To refuse at all means to refuse altogether. No exceptions: a friend’s birthday, a wedding, your birthday - it doesn’t matter, you don’t drink for 30 days. Just like with giving up cigarettes: we don’t wait for a special day or occasion, we start the experiment tomorrow.

In a month you will probably have time to visit different situations, in which you are used to drinking: holidays, evenings after hard working days. Only this time, you will have to do without alcohol. You will try to learn how to have a good time and relax without alcohol. This will be the goal of the experiment. Read the article on how to stop drinking forever, the link was given above.

It’s not enough to just stop drinking, you need to find a healthy alternative to what you’re used to getting from alcohol, otherwise this 30-day “fast” will not be very effective.

Learn to relax

If you need to relax, you can use the recommendations from the previous step and practice one of the relaxation techniques (and/or meditation) every evening. Try to find healthy ways to relax during this month: sports in the evenings, a swimming pool, walks fresh air, water treatments. If you are used to relaxing with the help of alcohol, then a connection between the state of relaxation, comfort and taking certain chemical compounds. In this way, a habit is established on physiological processes.

You must break this connection. Get your brain to associate relaxation with the things I listed above. A 30-day fast will serve as a good opportunity to strengthen new connections.

Learn to have fun and have fun

If there is some kind of holiday during this “fast”, then that’s wonderful! A great reason to try having fun without alcohol. From my own observations, it is very difficult at first. Some time ago I couldn't imagine one. And, when I first promised myself not to drink at a friend’s birthday party, keeping such a promise passed with enormous internal resistance. At first, I was even somehow confused, I didn’t know what to do without a bottle. Several hours at the party passed with terrible difficulty; it was boring and uninteresting. But then I began to entertain myself: I talked, listened to music, and came up with something. And, in the end, I had a wonderful time.

The problem with alcohol and other drugs is that they discourage activity and creativity. When a person drinks or uses something, he doesn’t need anything else, a kind of temporary self-sufficiency appears: he drank and sat there chattering his tongue - nothing else is interesting. Pay attention to drinking groups that bring their children to get-togethers. It could be some kind of kebabs. Children run around, play, invent something, while adults just sit in one place, pushing toast.

Of course, adults are not children; if they are deprived of a bottle, they are unlikely to play tag. But this example still at least somehow illustrates the difference in terms of pastime between non-drinkers and drinkers. Non-drinkers have to invent something to maintain the collective joy of the holiday, and the bottle destroys all ingenuity.

Therefore, at first, you will be bored just sitting on your ass and wagging your tongue at all sorts of events without a bottle. Therefore, entertain yourself, have fun, invent something, meet people, dance, find unexpected topics for conversation, show any activity. You will understand how much more diverse this pastime is than alcoholic gatherings. When you get bored, go home and fall asleep healthy sleep, gaining fresh impressions. And in the morning, wake up with a fresh head and full of energy, rejoicing at how good you feel. The fun didn't come at the cost of headaches.

Not every company has the opportunity to have a good time without alcohol, since many gather solely for the purpose of drinking: they crowd into a small kitchen like herring in a barrel, quickly grab a drink and sit, filling the pauses between sips with conversation. Naturally, if you don't drink, you may get bored in such company, and there is nothing unnatural about that. Just leave early or don't attend such events at all.

But if the interlocutors are interesting, it’s always interesting to just talk to them, no matter whether they drink or not. Situations are different, and a lot depends on the company itself, on who these people are, why these people have gathered, and not just on you.

From my own experience, I was convinced that you can easily have a frank heart-to-heart conversation without alcohol, that you can relax and have fun without being drunk. This comes with experience; for someone who hasn’t even tried, it will never work out, rest assured. If the holiday is organized well and it revolves not only around the bottle, then you can always find something to do. I noticed that there is a certain line, a line that needs to be crossed and endured.

At first it’s boring, but then the holiday atmosphere somehow captivates, liberates and has fun without any alcohol. This feeling consists of good music, smiles from friends, pleasant conversations and new experiences. This feeling invigorates and intoxicates without any harm to health, without any unpleasant consequences. During a 30-day period without drinking, you must attend one holiday and try to enter this state, feel it! If you succeed, you've earned an A for your experiment!

Everyone is familiar with the famous phrase “habit is second nature.” Indeed, a person’s predilections best characterize him inner world. Bad habits often include only smoking, drinking alcohol and drugs. But such seemingly harmless things as constantly chewing gum or buying various little things to cheer up, sometimes cause no less harm.

The good news is that no one is born with bad habits, which means that if you work hard on yourself, you can get rid of them. The cause of most bad habits is stress, which in a certain way affects a person’s subconscious. In this regard, you can start getting rid of any harmful addictions with general rules.

1. Find a healthy replacement for a bad habit. If every uncomfortable, exciting situation makes you want to bite your nails or forcefully wrap your hair around your finger, try instead reading a favorite poem to yourself or, when the situation allows, humming a song. For smokers who have not yet acquired physical dependence on the addiction, simple seeds or lozenges can help.
2. Find yourself a hobby. A new hobby (for example, photography, knitting or swimming) will allow you to distract yourself and forget about the bad habit that developed from idleness.
3. Motivate yourself to give up harmful addictions. Instead of spending money on buying another trinket, save it for your vacation. To increase your motivation, visit travel sites more often, look at photographs of the country you would like to visit. Sometimes all you need to do to find a reason to quit a bad habit is make a bet with someone about it.
4. Come up with a punishment for yourself. For example, each bitten nail will cost 20 squats, and if you swear today, you will be left without sweets or the Internet.

How to stop biting your nails

A baby sucks his finger to calm down, but an adult can start to do this for this purpose. Having dealt with the cause of this addiction on a psychological level, you can move on to practical work.

First of all, you can lubricate your nails with something bitter or sharp. If you don't have allergies, red pepper or dry mustard will do. Laundry soap will also give your nails bad taste, and the desire to put them in your mouth will disappear over time.

Women can make themselves beautiful manicure. After you've shelled out a significant portion of your salary on your nails, you don't want to ruin their appearance.

To achieve success, you need to strictly control yourself. First, try reducing the number of harmful words. For example, if you usually say 20 “well” or “so to speak” in 10 minutes, try to reduce their number to 7. Every day, reduce this number and reward yourself for the results achieved.

Do it will easier for people with rich vocabulary, so don't forget to dedicate time to reading.

How to stop wasting money

Spending money on all sorts of nonsense harms not only family budget, but can develop into serious illness, which only a psychologist can help you get rid of.

To avoid becoming a slave to this bad habit, make a shopping list before going to the store and strictly adhere to it. Try to avoid departments that do not contain items from the list. Take a limited amount of cash with you to the store and leave plastic cards at home.

Save money for large purchases Needed immediately after payday. At the same time, it is better to store them in a bank account, which imposes penalties for early withdrawal.

How to avoid eating problems with sweets

If you occasionally allow yourself a few bars of chocolate or even a piece of rich cake, there is nothing wrong with that. But if the main incentive of your good mood- this is a cake, then sweets have become a bad habit.

The easiest way to get rid of it is to wait out the peak of stress. If, after yet another unpleasant conversation with your boss, a person needs something sweet, you need to postpone going to the store for at least 20 minutes. After this, most often the need for such doping disappears.

How to stop being late

The problem with punctuality is called one of the most common bad habits of residents of big cities. To properly distribute your time to get ready, try setting the alarm not only for the time you get up. Let the timer tell you when the allotted time for showering, breakfast, makeup and other tasks has ended.

When calculating travel time, feel free to add 10-15 minutes to it for unforeseen situations. Don't forget to factor in the minutes it takes to warm up your car or walk to a stop.

So, to summarize, sometimes a few days are enough to acquire a bad habit, but to get rid of it it takes a lot of time and enormous willpower. If you have the desire to overcome addiction and the mindset to win, then everything will work out. Scientists say that it is enough to hold out in the fight against bad habits for 21 days, and they will definitely retreat.

Video: fighting bad habits

With your mother-in-law, you start biting your lip or scratching your private parts - everything is clear. Try to have less contact with the “irritant”.

Note that a habit becomes such if it gives you some pleasure and increases the background. Find what you like about your bad habit and reflect on how important the habit is to you. Maybe it doesn't bring the desired effect at all.

Make a firm decision. Find the positives in breaking a bad habit. But if this does not help, you can do differently. Play out in your brain what will happen if you break the promise you made to yourself. Or you can bet a significant amount of money. Perhaps, before the discord that may occur in the world, or the fear of losing a lot of money, they will overcome to continue or drink (for example).

Try to pick up a new habit. And do it in such a way that the new one replaces the old one and brings the same pleasure. Let's say you have a habit that affects all pens and pencils that come into your hands. You love to chew on them. Replace this addiction by drawing small pictures on some piece of paper. And you can replace smoking breaks with drinking coffee or tea.

Video on the topic

Useful advice

And remember - there is no such thing as weak will, only insufficient motivation. Therefore, be patient, gather all your willpower and you will defeat any habit.

Almost every person has bad habits. Some often bite their nails, others crack their joints, and others are addicted to alcohol. All of these habits can be incredibly difficult to break. To do this, you need to act consistently.

Instructions

First, you need to realize your own responsibility. Recognize that your bad habits are the result of your not always thoughtful actions. Understanding that your actions have consequences can make a big difference in your life. However, taking responsibility does not mean you are holding yourself back. Instead, you gain the freedom to break your habits and start doing things differently.

Write down on a piece of paper all the positive and negative aspects your habits. In the first list, add all the advantages of your existing habits, in the second - everything. Benefits include, for example, stress relief or a feeling of comfort. Disadvantages may be: health problems, lack of free time, spending large sums of money. Compare these two lists and determine for yourself the most significant consequences of your habits for you.

It can be difficult to get rid of habits because... Most often this process drags on for a long time. Setting long-term goals is very difficult for many people. It is sometimes impossible to get rid of a habit in the short term. For example, if you decide to quit smoking, doing so instantly will not be so easy. You may need to use long-term programs to break the habit. You must learn to see the long-term benefits of quitting habits. Imagine yourself as someone who can easily run a marathon without getting out of breath after climbing a couple of flights of stairs. Imagine how you save large sums of money without purchasing cigarettes. Having such goals is an incentive to break habits.

Try to track situations when your habits manifest themselves, write them down in your diary. Please contact special attention to specific ones that force you to do certain things. For example, if you notice that you only drink alcohol when around certain people, mention that. In the future, you will be able to avoid situations that support your habits.

Many bad habits can be replaced with completely harmless ones. If you have the opportunity, do it. For example, frequent snacking is known to reduce smoking. Try to get into the habit of eating something whenever you feel like smoking. If you have a habit of biting your nails, try chewing gum. Carry it with you and chew it whenever the situation calls for it.

Set specific deadlines for quitting the habit and monitor them. Reward yourself every time you achieve another goal. For example, if you want to break the habit of eating, set yourself a goal of going without it for a month. Once the goal is achieved, praise yourself, solemnly celebrate this event as if it really matters to you. Then set the next goal, for example, not to eat for the next six months.

Tip 3: What bad relationship habits should you get rid of?

There is no ideal relationship between a man and a woman. But this is what makes the union interesting. However, there are certain habits that are better to get rid of before they finally separate lovers. Let's talk about them in more detail.

Criticism

When one of the companions fails, he, of course, reveals his experiences to his loved one and to a loved one. And in response, he wants to find understanding, consolation and support. Or at least the opportunity to speak out. But some people tend to spend their energy criticizing rather than finding a solution. And an ordinary confession turns into a real scandal and a clash of views. Patience and understanding are the most important things in a relationship. This must be taken as a basis and tried to adhere to in such situations. If the semantic positions are different, then you need to listen to your partner and try to calmly and reasonably explain everything to him.

Accusation

It is quite logical, when faced with troubles, to look for the very key link that became the starting point of destruction. However, what is more important is what to do with it afterwards. You can accuse the chosen one of weak character, softness, laziness or excessive self-confidence. But what will you get as a result?... It is much more effective to support your loved one and jointly try to find a solution to the problem. Everyone consciously chooses their partner. And either he accepts it or continues his search.

Boasting

A pair of lovers is a single whole. Is it right to brag about your achievements while relegating your chosen one to the shadows? Of course, such behavior is unacceptable. There is no need to be competitors, partnership is equality. Even if one of your companions is doing better, you shouldn’t boast about it. It is necessary to support, create motivation, and “pull up” your loved one.

Punishment

Sometimes lovers resemble children, well, or perceive their chosen ones as such. At the slightest offense they try to come up with a punishment. For example, they deprive you of intimacy, declare a boycott, etc. However, it should be remembered that favor is always rewarded more and more pleasantly. And there is nothing terrible or global in the fact that your chosen one, in the bustle of work, forgot about another anniversary.

Bribe

Another erroneous model of behavior in relationships. Why? Because it already obviously creates not equality, but subordination. So, in exchange for a service, the partner promises to buy or perform something for the chosen one. However, such relationships are usually short-lived. In this case, it is more effective to negotiate.

Many people believe that bad habits are only alcohol, tobacco and drugs. However, in reality, the concept of bad habits includes many more points. For example:

• Nail biting;


• Licking fingers;


• Do not wash your hands before eating or preparing food;


• Play video games for a long time and often;


• Walk in cold winters without a hat, etc.

All this is also considered bad habits, which should be gotten rid of as quickly as possible, otherwise they can ruin you. After all, harm is caused both by the microbes that are on our hands, and by the radiation from the computer monitor and cold wind, which can cause meningitis (for example).

So how can you get rid of all these unnecessary activities?! Let's find out!

10 methods to quickly break habits

First, let's define the word “quickly”; it is written here more for emphasis, which indicates that the methods described below are most effective in relatively short term. However, speaking in general, it is impossible to quickly get rid of habits, unless there are emergency situations, which we will also talk about.

1. Instead of smoking, start gnawing on seeds. Strange way, however, quite effective. It's not so much about the seeds, but about the process itself, since you perform a lot of actions at once with your hands, lips, teeth, etc. The process is quite addictive, and therefore quite well interrupts the smoker’s withdrawal symptoms. It is advisable to buy sunflower seeds black and naturally in a shell.


2. Reduce your alcohol intake. If a person is addicted to alcohol, it is very difficult for him to quit. However, here you need to start by gradually reducing the number of times you use it. If you used to drink 4-5 times a week, now try to reduce this frequency to 3, let it be every other day and once a week 2 days off from alcohol. When you cope with this figure, try to reduce it by one more day, and so gradually wean yourself from such a bad habit.


3. Find yourself a new hobby. Sometimes bad habits appear from the lack of any hobby. So why don't you find a new hobby for yourself. Today there are quite a lot of communities for hobbies (knitting, diets, sports, cars, business, etc.). Why would you waste your time and health on nonsense if you can benefit not only yourself, but also those around you.


4. Ask your mentor to intervene. It is quite difficult to get out of the current situation on your own, so sometimes you need the help of a person you trust and listen to. This could be your father/mother, husband or wife. You need to ask them to keep an eye on you and not let you get back to your old ways. Yes, most likely, you will be angry with them, but this feeling will eventually be replaced by words of gratitude.


5. Find motivation to quit bad habits. Motivation is nothing more than a reason that encourages you to act and change something in your life. It is she who is capable of changing even the most outdated rules and traditions. Think about what you can change for and get rid of the bad past. Often, children, wives or husbands, as well as close people have the maximum motivation. If you are still quite a young man, then most likely your motivation will be a girl who will leave you unless you get rid of bad habits.


6. Find out the maximum consequences of your habit. As a rule, we rarely know all the consequences that certain habits can lead to. For example, smoking - yes, everyone understands that it can cause lung cancer. But what is this?! How does it go?! Few people guess. We strongly recommend that you learn about all the diseases that develop during your harmful activities, and then study the development of each disease. To, roughly speaking, feel all the pain that you will experience if you don’t stop. Scary pictures and text will make your brain work and think again about what you can end up with.


7. Calculate how long you have left to live! As if a continuation of the previous point: it is good to sober up the realization that you will soon die. After all, any disease has its time, after which a person dies, unless he is cured. You can even die from poisoning if you don’t get help in time. the help you need. Accordingly, estimate how long you have left to live if you get sick with one of the possible diseases. A week, a month, six months?! Aren't you ready to die for your bad habit?! Don't think!


8. Bet on a large sum of money. Also a good incentive for people who are not in a very good financial situation or are quite gambling. Create a receipt, sign it, have it executed by a notary and give it to your relative or good friend. It should say that you undertake to give this person such and such an amount within such and such a period. And continue verbally - unless I quit smoking (for example).


9. Make a plan to rid yourself of bad habits. In this situation, you cannot rush and act rashly. Alcoholism, smoking and other bad habits are enough serious problems, requiring long and serious treatment, not so much physically as morally.


10. Find an alternative to your habit. Some habits have alternatives, for example, instead of tobacco you can use electronic cigarettes, and instead of strong alcohol - beer or similar drinks. An alternative is another one of the first steps from which you should start fighting your bad habits.

We sincerely wish you to get rid of your negative habits as soon as possible and hope that our advice from the online magazine site will help you a lot! Also, if you have your own ways of dealing with unhealthy habits, please share them in the comments, because only joint efforts You can overcome a problem on a universal scale!