Day by day, a person encounters situations when an existing need cannot be satisfied for any reason. In such cases, behavior is usually regulated by psychological defense mechanisms that aim to prevent conduct disorders.

Psychological protection is associated with a change in the system of internal values ​​of the individual, aimed at reducing the level of subjective significance of the corresponding experience in order to minimize psychologically traumatic moments. R. M. Granovskaya believes that the functions of psychological protection are inherently contradictory: on the one hand, they contribute to the adaptation of a person to his own inner world, but at the same time, on the other hand, they can worsen adaptability to the external social environment.

In psychology, the effect of the so-called pending action. It lies in the fact that any obstacle leads to an interruption of the action until the obstacle is overcome or the person refuses to overcome it. The works of many researchers show that unfinished actions form a tendency towards their completion, and if direct completion is not possible, a person begins to perform substitution actions. We can say that the mechanisms of psychological defense are some specialized forms of substitution actions.

Psychological defense mechanisms

TO psychological defense mechanisms are usually referred to negation, repression, projection, identification, rationalization, substitution, alienation and some others. Let us dwell on the characteristics of each of these mechanisms as R. M. Granovskaya describes them.

Negation comes down to the fact that the information that disturbs is not perceived. This method of protection is characterized by a noticeable distortion of the perception of reality. Negation is formed in childhood and often does not allow people to adequately assess what is happening around, which leads to difficulties in behavior.

crowding out- most universal way getting rid of internal conflict by actively turning off unacceptable motive or unpleasant information from consciousness. Interestingly, what is most quickly repressed and forgotten by a person is not the bad that others have done to him, but the bad that he has done to himself or others. Ingratitude, all kinds of envy and a great many inferiority complexes are connected with this mechanism, which are forced out with terrible force. It matters that a person does not pretend, but really forgets unwanted, traumatic information, it is completely ousted from his memory.

Projection- an unconscious transfer to another person of one's own feelings, desires and inclinations, in which a person does not want to admit to himself, realizing their social unacceptability. For example, when a person has shown aggression towards another, he often has a tendency to reduce the attractive qualities of the victim.

Identification- unconscious transfer to oneself of feelings and qualities that are inherent in another person and are inaccessible, but desirable for oneself. In children it is simplest way mastering the norms of social behavior and ethical standards. For example, a boy unconsciously tries to be like his father and thereby earn his love and respect. In a broad sense, identification is an unconscious adherence to images, ideals, which allows you to overcome your weakness and feelings of inferiority.

Rationalization- a deceitful explanation by a person of his desires, actions that are actually caused by reasons, the recognition of which would threaten the loss of self-respect. For example, while experiencing some kind of psychic trauma, a person protects himself from its destructive impact by evaluating the traumatic factor in the direction of decreasing significance, i.e. not having received what he passionately desired, he convinces himself that “I didn’t really want to.”

substitution— shifting an action directed at an inaccessible object to an action with an accessible object. This mechanism discharges the tension created by an inaccessible need, but does not lead to the desired goal. Substituting activity is distinguished by the transfer of activity to a different plane. For example, from a real exercise to a fantasy world.

Isolation or alienation- isolation within the consciousness of traumatic factors for a person. At the same time, unpleasant emotions are blocked by consciousness, i.e. no connection between emotional coloring and event. This type of defense is reminiscent of alienation syndrome, which is characterized by a feeling of loss of emotional connection with other people, previously significant events or one's own experiences, although their reality is recognized.

Thus, it is necessary to know that psychological protection can help maintain a person’s internal comfort, even if he violates social norms and prohibitions, since it creates the basis for self-justification. If a person treats himself as a whole positively, admits in his consciousness the idea of ​​his imperfection, shortcomings, then he takes the path of overcoming the contradictions that arise.

"Cold Therapy"

If the thief of your energy acts with annoying activity, if he constantly complains about fate, problems and illnesses, but at the same time does absolutely nothing to improve own life, then very effective tool protection from such vampirism will be the so-called cold therapy, about which Agni Yoga speaks: “You think correctly about the diverse impact of human radiation on the environment. A convincing example can be seen in the impact of a person on animals and plants. the difference in the state of objects and types of destruction of life energy.Like a vampire, a rider sucks a horse, or a hunter a dog, or a gardener a plant.Look for the cause in the radiation of a person.

Observe and write the history of the disease of the spirit. The physical obvious is rooted in long-standing accumulations. I advise you to treat people with sick radiations coldly. Cold treatment will most likely strengthen them. Cold therapy should not be taken as cruelty; for We remind you to sensitively open the door to everyone who knocks" (Signs of Agni Yoga), emphasizing that this method has nothing to do with cruelty and indifference. On the contrary, in such an attitude towards people who are sick with vampirism, lies the highest manifestation of humanity, aimed Deprived of the habitual illegal artificial inputs of other people's power, energy vampires will be forced to strain their own will in order to obtain energy in a legal way, through spiritual work. completely fruitless, will be unconvincing for him.A cold attitude, firstly, heals the vampire, and secondly, protects the victim, because it helps her to collect her own energy into a single whole.

Psychological affirmations

(positive verbal statements)

If you are in a state of subtle struggle that could not be avoided and at the same time repelling an attack, try using the affirmation method. Come up with a phrase or several different phrases, the pronunciation of which brings you into a state of active mobilization of all internal resources, such as:

"I am absolutely confident and protected." "A powerful energy surrounds me." "I'm not afraid of anyone, I'm fearless." "I am the strongest and most resilient in the world." "The divine energy in me deflects every blow."

Repeat this phrase for several minutes like a spell, soaking its power into every cell of your being. Energize your aura, imbued with faith and a steady feeling that you are protected and nothing will happen to you. Achieve a feeling of confident elastic security, try to find the rhythm of pronouncing the affirmation that is most suitable for you. Try also to combine the recitation of the formula with the breath, inhaling and exhaling the affirmative phrase and passing its energy through you. After that, bring the accumulated strength into your own behavior, actions and deeds. You can repeat it during pressure and strong-willed struggle with the enemy.

Renaming a beat

Sometimes, calling a light and insignificant energy pressure or a clash of wills a blow, we fix this impact in our consciousness, as if we were really attacked so strongly that we were injured. In a word, we take hitting more seriously than we should. Not last role this is played by a purely verbal designation of a blow. Revision of the perception of a blow as a serious injury and replacing its image with another, less severe and dangerous one, can be achieved by replacing the definition of a blow with another word. Another name carries a change in the function of the image and, often, the power behind it. Try to mentally call yourself a blow (even if it is quite strong and painful) a touch several times, and you will notice a significant weakening of painful sensations.

"More to the point"

It often happens that the attack takes place in a business atmosphere, but the blow is not directed at your professional quality but on your personality. Many people completely in vain succumb to such a "transition to the individual" and begin either to justify themselves or to accuse the other on the principle of "the fool himself." Meanwhile, there is a great way to repel an attack in a calm, firm manner: putting emotions aside, call on the aggressor to speak only on business. It is important not only to periodically repeat the phrase "closer to the point", but to be able to remain calm, able to analyze the essence of the matter and striving primarily for business goals. Enter the image of efficiency, button up your business suit with all the buttons, both literally and figuratively, and try to demonstrate to everyone present evidence of your own devotion to the interests of the cause. You can tell the "critics" that you are not interested in personal assessments made by someone, and offer to discuss the current situation.

Bureaucratic ritual, or formalization of communication

This method is well developed historically in the Russian tradition and to some extent is the logical conclusion of the previous method. If you don't have the ability to directly reject offers or the pressures you're under, if you're being pushed all the time with unnecessary activities and goals, then you can resort to a purely bureaucratic form of defense that's great for saving time. Start speaking with a person in an official tone, refer to the opinion of your superiors and to the unshakable orders that are established in your organization, fill out papers for a long time, make the interlocutor sign each of them - in short, formalize communication. Such a method helps to establish a distance between the aggressor and you, reinforcing such forms of communication that either completely exclude open outbursts of irritation on the part of a potential aggressor, or make them obviously unprofitable for him, for what is the point of rebelling against the established order?

When used incorrectly, as in the hands of hardened bureaucrats, the formalization of communication becomes a dangerous weapon. This technique should be used in extreme cases, when you feel your moral rightness, but you do not have enough strength to put the presumptuous boor in his place. Otherwise, it will serve to protect your poorly performing organization or department from justified consumer dissatisfaction. If their claims are justified, it is better to correct the mistakes than to defend the "honor of the uniform" in this way. Nevertheless, the formalization of communication can be used as a "special-purpose weapon" in situations where mutual emotional bitterness interferes with the business part of solving the problem.

“Are you afraid that your method will be adopted by bureaucrats of all stripes and finally formalize the country?” a colleague asked me, whom I told that I was going to describe this form of protection as well. "I'm not afraid," I replied, "because they know this method immeasurably better than I do. But it is useful for a sensitive, naive worker of an emotional type who is being unfairly attacked to be at least a little bit in the shoes of a seasoned Russian bureaucrat."

Loneliness, or a halo of inaccessibility

Sometimes, to protect yourself, you just need to keep communication to a minimum or even be alone. The image of a lonely, little-contact person that you demonstrate will automatically reduce the number of people who want to even just communicate with you, not to mention those who want to conflict. It is only important that it be the loneliness of strength, as if not in need of people and very selectively accepting communication with them. To do this, you need to carefully monitor yourself so as not to ask unnecessary questions, not to be the first to make contact, but only to respond to the nuances of a change in attitude towards you.

"I imagine that I am a celebrity, and all around me are journalists who are going to interview," a man once shared his secrets with me, who was considered a difficult partner in this team to communicate and negotiate. They were afraid of him and tried not to argue, which he skillfully used. Looking closely at him, I noticed that he only occasionally communicates his emphatically special, "harmful" opinion and goes into the shell of public loneliness. The rest of the time, he manifests himself as a restrained, but at the same time sincere person, speaking little, to the point, but always ready to help with advice if they turn to him. By acting in this way, he has achieved that almost no one argues with him and carefully hangs on his every word, thanks to his laconicism and pauses that seem very weighty. The attention that he shows with restraint and business to other people, against the background of this silence, looks like a gift, like Sunray, which appeared from behind the clouds that covered the sky for a long time.

This strategy works well in teams with a tense atmosphere and many conflicting factions, where The best way survive - stay away and at the same time be known as a cool specialist who will always help if you ask him about it. Of course, this method is designed for an amateur. For most people, especially those who are emotional by nature, the very prospect of closing their souls like window shutters, and leaving unpleasant contacts into loneliness, looks unattractive.

“Let them beat you, but it’s better with people than sitting at home alone,” one woman admitted to me, who is experiencing difficulties in connection with the ridicule she is subjected to in the company, but because of the fear of being left in four walls, she is ready to endure such treatment.

Demonstration of rage not directed against the aggressor

I could not find a shorter name for the method, which was shared with me by a friend. This method works very well in situations of danger.

“When I need to be left alone, I enter into the image that I am so immersed in some kind of feeling that I don’t seem to hear, and I don’t want to hear others,” a man whose appearance left no doubts told me in its strength and security. When I asked what signal he sends to people, the man grinned and said: "Well, for example, I'm starting to talk aloud to myself." To my counter question, if he was not afraid that they would take him for a madman, he replied that "it would be better to be accepted than, for example, to be killed." Then he told me the story of how one evening he noticed a company approaching with a rather aggressive look to phone booth where he had a conversation with a friend. “I don’t know where it came from, but I quickly managed to tell my friend:“ Don’t be surprised, now I need a performance, ”and in a loud voice, furiously began to threaten him with major showdowns. When the company approached, I talked with him for another minute in approximately the same tone, letting them hear how furious I was (moreover, it is interesting that none of them dared to interrupt me, but on the contrary, everyone listened with their mouths open). , and in fifteen minutes we will be at his place, after that he threw down the pipe and asked one of the company to smoke with the words: “Man, give me a cigarette, I’m deadly late.” The most interesting thing is that they gave me a cigarette, and, having said thank you, I quickly walked away from this place.

I tried this method and found it to be effective. If you demonstrate a strong emotion directed against an unknown enemy, not every aggressor will dare to disturb your rage. Only the game must be genuine and rarely used.

Overcoming mental trauma

This method is one of the training ones. It is no secret that each of us must have met and clashed with people who were stronger and won, leaving in our deep memory a traumatic feeling of defeat. Every time we encounter something like this in life, this sensation awakens and invades consciousness, blocking the free circulation of psychic energy and preventing the manifestation of confidence in behavior. If we want to become secure, we need to overcome the negative image of past failure in ourselves.

Recall in your mind an unfortunate situation from the past in which you suffered a psychological defeat, or imagine the image of a person who passed you on a volitional level. Observe your attitude towards this image. If you notice that until now, remembering him, you experience tension and fear, that is, you are afraid not of the person himself, but of his image, then first of all, achieve the dissolution of your negative emotions and the elimination of muscle clamps and blocks. Do this exercise several times. After you can perceive the image that hurts you quite easily and calmly, try to completely erase from memory information about your own weakness, manifested in the past and to some extent continuing in the present. On the cleansed tape of consciousness, make another, completely opposite "record": mentally enter the image of strength, confidence, psycho-energetic power and transfer your renewed consciousness to this situation, imagining that you are successfully coping with it and completing it in a victorious way that you desire . Make a mental "rewriting" of an unsuccessful situation for a successful, victorious one several times. Gradually, the trauma will resolve and give way to a sense of wholeness, confidence and health.

Using the defensive power of the "uniform"

No, I'm not talking about the protective power of a military uniform, which is usually painted (sorry for the pun!) In protective tones, and not about the "defense of uniform" formula, which means that this or that organization, with fair accusations against it, defends not the truth or the interests of the business, and above all their own reputation. I mean that in many life situations, the "uniform" itself performs a protective function, that is, a person's belonging to a certain organization. Of course, it must be powerful and ready to defend the interests of its members if they are threatened by other structures or forces. Clan-corporate affiliation gives rise to pride and confidence in a person, sometimes even excessive and unreasonable. This is clearly seen in the example of employees of large corporations and concerns. Yes, and in our history there were many such structures. When a person remembers that he belongs to something like this, his chest expands, and he begins to feel that he is not afraid of any blows.

To feel the protective power of the "uniform", you need to "put it on" and "wear it" for some time, in other words, you will get a job in a good successful organization. An employee who is in his place should feel that not only he loves the work, but also the work in the person of the employer, the team and the whole system loves him. Try to find a job that you both like and succeed. Try to establish deep inner contact with the very system that animates your firm. Tune in to a sense of the importance and necessity of what you are doing. If you learn to be sincere and justified, without unnecessary complacency, to be proud of your organization, team, work and your place in this system, that is, "uniform", be sure that good worker such a "uniform" will protect in any situation.

Awareness and competence

The concept of awareness and competence is included in the personal psychological security of a person. Anyone who does not understand the substance of the issue over which there is a conflict, nor the psychology of the person who strikes, will never become truly protected. Awareness and competence can be broad, relating to the level of education and general awareness of a person about everything that happens in the world, and narrow, related to the specifics of the conflict and attack. No matter how good a person’s health is, no matter how strong his aura is purely energetically, he will not be able to correctly respond to any sophisticated psychological blow, which involves introducing the victim into a state of mental confusion and demobilization, if he is not competent and informed and even educated. Competence is essentially not a technique, but common property a person that helps in repelling the sometimes very complex and intricate blows of the modern world.

Narrow awareness is closer to what can be called a technique. Before a serious confrontation, ask yourself: did you have time to study the enemy well? Recall everything you know about him, including knowledge of his strengths and weaknesses, as well as information about the nature of the case, because of which the collision occurred. Try to absorb this knowledge into yourself, into your own heart, and rebuild your defense system based on it. Just do not burden your spirit, ready to confront evil, with such an assessment and knowledge of the enemy that will prevent you from meeting a new blow in full force. Information should not be more than a warning. Do not forget about the completeness of information about yourself, which the process of self-observation can bring you. Without the so-called subjective awareness, it is impossible to bring oneself into a state of harmony and balance. If it is supplemented by education or objective information, then you can avoid many unnecessary blows of fate generated by ignorance.

The elastic force of confidence

Find the center of your being. Focus on it and stay in this state until the latent energy of consciousness manifests itself. Mentally connect it with a sense of health, a sense of rightness and will power. As a result, an elastic force of self-confidence should be born in your personality, which is expressed in an inner sense of readiness to immediately respond to any accusation and parry any blow. Set yourself up to bring this power into your every action, word or reaction, especially if you are dealing with aggressive environment and conflict people. Then try to learn to call it into yourself almost instantly, as soon as the air smells of a possible conflict and a premonition of an attack.

Set a goal to create an elusive but very real halo of elastic, confident strength around you, and you will significantly reduce the number of attacks on yourself. Who wants to attack someone who exudes a powerful force of confidence that can give a sensitive rebuff? Remember all the cases from the past years of your life when you managed to successfully parry blows and put the aggressor in his place. Try to remember the very feeling of elastic force that accompanied these cases and helped you repel the onslaught. After that, recall this feeling that manifested itself in different episodes of your life, summarize it together and attract the energy of memories into your current self-awareness. Filled with an elastic feeling of energy and strength, try to get used to the image of confidence at the level of behavior and actions, and by this you will finally convince yourself that you are a strong confident person who is able to stand up for himself.

Mental manipulation of the image of the aggressor

In cases where the aggressor is well acquainted with you, and you are firmly convinced that you will have to receive sensitive blows from him more than once, you should prepare for them and develop the correct reaction to both aggression and its source. Do not overestimate and, conversely, overestimate the aggressor. If there is such an inadequate assessment on your part, then in any case it will backfire on you. The underestimator misses the blow because he has not built any shields around himself, and he will not have any correct reaction in his subconscious to reflect the blow. He who overestimates the danger internally exaggerates the severity of the blow and creates in himself the wrong images, blocks and clamps, which facilitate the delivery of the blow and its passage through the thin tissue of the human personality. An effective method that improves the security of a person is mental work with the image of the aggressor.

Ask yourself the question: in your conflicts with Mr. N, during which you receive sensitive blows, do you continue to underestimate the seriousness of the enemy, or, on the contrary, tend to overestimate him? Analyze the image of the enemy imprinted in your mind and try to understand - does such a representation help to better repel blows or not? If you underestimate the enemy, and in your mind there is no clear image of the danger that threatens you, which needs to be reflected in some way, then you must: a) introduce into your mind an idea of ​​the size of the real threat; b) think and choose which type defensive reaction will best reflect aggression; c) mentally repeat this reaction in your mind as many times as necessary to turn it into an energetically saturated, living, really working image. At a difficult moment, it will be much easier for you to repel a blow - you will simply extract a protective image from your subconscious and give out the necessary reaction based on it. If you overestimate the aggressor, and there is a horror image in your subconscious (it doesn’t even matter if it is confirmed by the truth of life or based on a wrong perception), then you can try to move away from yourself and even reduce the spatial dimensions.

I advised one person, who is terribly afraid of his harsh, noisy boss, to mentally reduce her image to microscopic sizes and to do this procedure both during the dressings she arranges, and in anticipation of them, and after, until his attitude towards the boss becomes completely indifferent until the fear passes. He hesitated for a long time - whether to decide on such a step or not, because he depended on her so much internally that he was afraid even mentally to resist her. But when he made up his mind and did this procedure several dozen times, then the fear passed, and in a correct manner, but firmly, he told her everything he thought about her screams and empty nit-picking. A hysteria happened to the boss - in several years of work, her subordinates for the first time so seriously objected to her. After that, he was already going to write a letter of resignation, but after a while a miracle happened: the whole team refused to trust the boss, and she was forced to quit herself!

Remember that it is not enough to create a vivid and accurate image of your defensive actions - you need to charge it well with energy and then confidently release it into the world.

Image protection

If mental defense refers to purely internal methods, and role-playing defense refers to external methods, then defense with the help of an image, which implies the ability of a person to dress correctly and look decent in each specific situation, glides over the very surface of human behavior. However, this type of protection is very important, as it largely determines the perception of a person by other people. As is well known to everyone from the Russian proverb, the meaning of which has become much stronger in our time, which fully deserves the name "Vanity Fair" - "they are greeted by their clothes." If the clothes are bad or in sharp contrast to people's expectations, provocative or inappropriate for the situation, then you may be met with a very aggressive attitude. If you want to achieve your goals in a problematic communication situation (an upcoming conflict, an exam, a difficult explanation, an acquaintance where it is especially important to make a positive impression, contact with a deliberately unfriendly or conflicting person), and your position is not accepted in advance, then you must defend your purely the psychological image is not only a thoughtful role, but also appropriate clothing. Now there are many manuals and brochures on the issues of creating an external image, where fashion issues are combined with security issues, so I will not retell them. I will confine myself to general advice, perhaps even to well-known readers.

1. If you are going to a place where you have a difficult explanation, then the provocatively bright colors of the clothes will most likely provoke an outburst of negative emotions.

I remember such a case. One person was expelled from the university. In order to recover, he had to go through several instances. The success of passing each instance depended, among other things, on his clothes - as soon as he put on a dark brown suit instead of a bright red sweater at the second stage of elimination, the elimination process was suspended.

Of course, in this and other similar stories, everything should not be reduced to the effect of colors in clothes, but this factor should not be completely discounted either.

2. If you go to a fashionable party, birthday, presentation, then, on the contrary, brighter, more colorful, expensive clothes will better protect you psychologically. I have repeatedly seen how at such events people of a self-confidently impudent type made psychological raids on people in a "wretched outfit", as one businessman, a lover of nightclubs and high-society companies of businessmen, athletes and rock musicians, where a completely random Human.

3. It is very important to maintain color combinations, if not classic, but at least not annoying. According to classical ideas, the combination of red and green is completely unacceptable, although in modern fashion, especially in its party version, this barrier has already been overcome.

4. It is obvious that open clothing suggests that a person is more open to the attention and negative energy of another person and provokes not only friendly outbursts and expressions of sympathy, but also aggression, familiarity antics, sexual harassment. Accordingly, closed-type clothing (deaf and high collars, jackets fastened with all buttons and zippers, etc.) creates and enhances the feeling of psychological closeness and partially blocks interest, attention and desire to make contact and thereby diverts possible psychological attacks from him. On the other hand, many situations require either only "open" or, on the contrary, "closed" clothes, and if a person comes to a good warm and friendly company literally buttoned up, this will cause tension, attract negative emotions to him , negative energy and paradoxically weaken the defense. "Open" clothing in such a situation will perform a protective function to a much greater extent than "closed" clothing.

5. An important role in the image of a person is played by the material from which the clothes are made. The stronger and thicker the fabric, the more the effect of closeness and security is achieved. Camouflage fabric and leather give rise to the pinnacle of the sense of closeness. That is why the guards and the "fraternity" love the skin so much. On the other hand, statistics state that in acute situations of fights, showdowns, police raids, criminal shootings, most of the victims are among people dressed in camouflage and leather, even if they happened to be nearby by chance. Therefore, think about when, where and what to wear.

6. In addition, try to match your purely psychological image and style of behavior with clothing. There is nothing funnier than a person with the manners of an insecure neurotic, dressed in the style of a tough businessman or security guard. So look for your style, follow the fashion if possible, read fashion magazines and try to understand what clothes give you the most success and confidence. It can be absolutely confidently asserted that clothes that are ridiculous or not suitable for a person not only spoil his image in the eyes of people, but also deform his aura, giving rise to low self-esteem, psychological complexes and causing energy losses.

7. If you have the opportunity, get yourself a stylist who is at least a little versed not only in clothes and hairstyles, but also in the subtle energy mechanisms of the impression made by a person and in his psychological problems. In short, work on style. Paraphrasing and adding famous saying(True, referring to writing): "Style is a person", you can say that style is a person with his own protection.

Psychological tennis

I call this type of defense a sports term, because it involves an instant reaction to any psychological attack of the opponent, whether it be a word, an accusation, a gesture, a look, a movement or an act. Psychological tennis (and I mean table tennis rather than tennis) involves communication at a fast or even ultra-fast pace. Most often this refers to the verbal form of protection. Learn to respond instantly a short phrase. Some people speak so long that their statements resemble extended newspaper articles. Others first briefly state the main ideas and only, if necessary, reveal them in more detail.

Learn to speak in short, concise phrases, putting the most concentrated energy into them, too long an answer washes away the power of persuasiveness from words. Starting to train this skill, try to start by saying anything, even if the meaning of speech is lost, but you keep the speed of pace and a confident look. This method is somewhat similar to the Zen parables, riddles and paradoxes of being, to which you need to respond instantly and extraordinary. The best answer is considered to be such a reaction that is issued by a person instantly and absolutely freely, without much thought. Learn to parry any threats, accusations, claims and ridicule instantly and easily, just like a tennis champion parries an opponent's blow.

Absurdization of the attack

This type of defense is possible in those variants of communication when it occurs in verbal form, and you have time to convince the enemy of the senselessness of actions against you. To do this, you must resort to exaggeration of the arguments or those roles of behavior that you resort to. Try to show artistry and enter into an image that contrasts sharply with the aggressive behavior of the enemy through humor, subtle irony, a play of intonation, or a diametrically opposed position, against which a further attack looks pointless. Sometimes it is required to connect good logic, with the help of which a person is quickly, clearly and witty explained where his aggression will lead and what big price will have to pay for the escalation of the conflict. Try this technique in different ways until you reach the virtuosity of persuasion with a few phrases.

Defense of honor and dignity

A Russian proverb suggests preserving honor from a young age. The universal spiritual culture considers the loss of honor as the loss of the right to life, because the loss of honor and dignity makes life unbearable. The essence of dignity is in the awareness and experience of one's right to be unique and to treat one's own personality with a sense of self-respect. Dignity is a kind of armor that surrounds the personality. To live life is not to cross a field, and therefore, in the process of communication, this armor constantly receives arrows. Everyone has a choice: to defend honor and dignity or lose them, chasing profit in the broadest sense of the word. The defense of honor and dignity presupposes, first of all, a change in the general position of the individual and his attitude towards himself, and secondly, it is associated with various techniques and methods. If you want others not to offend your honor, you must have this honor. Remember the expression from the officer's charter: "I have the honor!" In order to have honor and radiate dignity, a person must kill a slave in himself - an inner being, for the sake of profit or a good attitude towards himself, going to different kind humiliation and deals with conscience. Straighten your shoulders in the literal and figurative sense, try to see that you, for all your shortcomings, are the only creature in the world who, on this one basis, has the right to self-respect.

Understand, if you are not filled with this impulse from the inside, then where will it come from other people? The respect other people give you is derived from the respect you give yourself. This, of course, is about self-respect, backed up by real deeds, and not about artificial pouting and importance, behind which there is nothing but empty narcissism. If you radiate such a sense of self-importance, not backed by genuine achievements in life, people will quickly figure it out and return this energy impulse back to you with an added weight of ridicule, contempt and hostility. But if you truly respect yourself, and your feeling is backed by good deeds, people will pay you deep respect in return, sometimes giving you advances that are excessive. Therefore, the best means of developing your self-respect is the calm, measured performance of worthy deeds for which you are respected.

Also, seriously think about your image. If you want to be perceived as you would like, make sure that your external reactions do not conflict with your internal mood. Do not fuss, do not make sudden movements, speak significantly, smoothly and weightily, as if saturating your entire being with energy from the muscular pattern to voice modulations.

One of my clients had the opportunity to get a good post, but, unfortunately, for such a post, its appearance was somewhat lightweight. Sharing my client's fears of seeming ridiculous and frivolous, I suggested that he first change his gait: learn to walk more smoothly, slowly, importantly, imagining that he is carrying a jug on his head. The person liked the image. He began to work in this direction in earnest. Six months later, the person was unrecognizable. He admitted to me that he even began to perceive the world in a different way, which is not surprising - the assimilation of a new external manner of behavior changes everything up to the inner sense of self.

The defense of dignity presupposes a combination of security and honor. At first, a person defends his dignity, and then the earned, felt and strengthened dignity protects his personality from encroachments and blows. When people see such an attitude of a person towards themselves, they, as a rule, do not dare to cross the border surrounding him and invade someone else's personal territory.

Another aspect of dignity that needs to be cultivated in oneself, because it is most directly related to the protection of a person, is social aspect. If a person worthy on a personal level is socially humiliated, the armor of his external confident image breaks through, and he, at best, feels great discomfort. In Russia, there has always been a lack of a sense of civic and social dignity, and a significant percentage of the population has always been inclined to bend their heads in front of the authorities and the state. Bringing the situation to the extreme degree of humiliation, such people explode at the last moment and arrange a riot, which has already happened more than once in our history. Today, as the country has embarked on a new course that sees a further increase in social inequality, it can be assumed that many people will experience a sharp sense of humiliation that drains them. A genuine sense of dignity necessarily includes social and civic self-respect and the ability to defend one's rights. A truly protected person must be able to demand that the state fulfill its obligations. This also applies to the personal psychological security of an individual in front of a specific official and representative of the state, and the community of people humiliated by blackouts, heat or exorbitant price increases. People must learn to unite in organizations or movements, with the help of which they will bring their demands to power, rigidly and consistently achieving their goals. If the population of our country does not awaken in itself a sense of civic dignity, then it will remain in a state of social humiliation, accompanied by massive stress and psychological depression.

Peace Attack

If you are attacked and you have tried to no avail various methods, try to psychologically stop the enemy in response, while acting by peaceful means. Keeping a level and friendly tone, try to accuse him of the wrong approach to business, errors of vision, prejudice. You can even slightly, in the correct form, hurt his personal well-being, just enough to embarrass him, but do not focus on the accusation, but soften your tone and move on to the merits of the case. Peacefully, but very energetically and assertively, begin to prove the correctness of your point of view. In short, bombard him with peaceful initiatives so that he does not have time to react and becomes embarrassed. Remember that this is not a program of action, but a demonstrative behavior designed to bring down the offensive fervor from your opponent and soften his aggression. By behaving in this way, you paralyze his aggression and confuse him, because your actions do not fit into his expectations.

A peaceful attack is very effective in cases where your opponent is not a super-aggressive person who is ready to go to the conflict to the end. Otherwise, he may become furious, either because he sees your relative resistance, which he does not tolerate, or because he interprets the peaceful nature of your actions as weakness.

Changing the battlefield

When the conflict takes on a protracted nature and requires your continuous participation and attention, and the result of the collision is likely to be undesirable for you, or in any case not the way you expect it, then it is more expedient to leave the conflict and apply your efforts to some new task. In no case do not lose the energy of response and movement. Just change the object of struggle and gradually shift your attention to a new goal. At every moment, a person has an alternative choice and it is important to be able to change the battlefield in a timely manner.

Belief Defense

Before we talk about defending beliefs, we need to make sure that they exist. It often happens that people understand personal taste assessments or selfish interests as beliefs. Beliefs are a system of a person's conscious views on a wide range of issues, permeated with some idea or even a series of ideas that a person believes in because they are dear to him. The defense of beliefs has nothing to do with an empty ambitious argument started for self-affirmation. Beliefs are not a suit that a person can change three times a week. Changing beliefs is a long process, often stretching for years or even decades. The rapid change of convictions, which one sometimes has to observe in the sphere of politics, is evidence of extreme superficiality and opportunism. A serious person cannot radically change his beliefs for short term without stress, shocks and breaks.

To defend beliefs means to protect oneself, the deep spiritual and psychological basis of one's existence. An alternative to "surrendering" one's beliefs is the death of a person as a person and a spiritual unit. Think seriously, do you have them or does it just seem to you? Perhaps what you call with the sonorous word "beliefs" is just a set of boastful thoughts that are convenient for your ego, under which no serious ideological base can be brought? But if you do have a belief system that you cherish, and it is extremely painful for you to see how someone shakes them, then, of course, they are worth fighting for. However, before you get involved in the fight, think again - are your beliefs true? Are they imbued with some kind of meaning, light, positive content, or are they the usual kind of blind personal predilections, in real life always directed against the interests of other people? Of course, a person himself cannot absolutely determine how true his views are, this is determined by life itself, however, something also depends on his recognition.

So, if your beliefs are valuable to you and if they are not objectively directed against other people, life, God, then defend them! Belief defense can take place in different forms both in words and deeds. Of course, protection by deeds and deeds is preferable. In Orthodoxy there is a wonderful formula: "The truth is not proved, but shown." The apostle Paul said on the same occasion: "Faith without works is dead." But even words imbued with faith turn, if not into deeds, then at least into important element cases, especially if a person is psychologically attacked precisely for his beliefs. So, if you want to seriously defend your beliefs, learn to effectively defend them both in deeds and in words. Deeds and actions should be clear, energetic, successful, professional, that is, those that cause as few claims and penalties as possible from those who are close to you. Try to make your deeds permeated with faith in their meaning and so that they do not diverge from the words with which you justify yourself before the world. If you have stopped believing in what you are doing, ask God to restore your faith, but if this does not happen, stop doing a dead work until you believe again. And if faith never returns, forget about your unsuccessful deeds. Things done without faith, that is, without realizing their necessity and value, are doomed to failure.

Verbal defense of beliefs is a dialogue, an explanation, a dispute, sometimes a conflict that needs to be conducted competently and correctly. There are several principles of such protection: a person must be well versed and understand what he is protecting. Clarity of understanding, generated by incompetence and unprofessionalism, sharply reduces the persuasiveness of what is said and causes a comic effect, exacerbated by the degree of emotionality of a person. Indeed, if such a person defends a thesis and is convinced that he is right, then the more passionately he does it, the more unconvincing his words look for the listeners, because they see the full extent of his misunderstanding. Unfortunately, many people defend such views and ideas, the essence of which they do not fully understand. Try not to be like them.

Defending your beliefs, do it emotionally, passionately, with faith in the correctness of the views that you defend. A person who speaks in such cases with a languid intonation, without a twinkle, with an indifferent detachment, weakens the positive meaning of his arguments. Passionate faith in the correctness of what is said, combined with the logical clarity of arguments, makes any speech convincing and effective.

Avoid imposing your beliefs - it does nothing but the opposite result. Try to influence the mind and the emotional nature of the interlocutor, but do not put pressure on his will. The decision to accept or not to accept your arguments and views must be made independently.

Learn to be creative in your choice of arguments to convince others of the truth of what you say. The defense of beliefs should not be built on the exploitation of one or two arguments.

Don't let those who attack your views do so with too much irony. Make it clear that it’s better to be ironic over you personally, but they don’t touch your beliefs, just as you don’t touch the beliefs of your opponent. In this case, you will be perceived as a fairer and more significant person, for whom not her selfish interests are more important, but internal system values.

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In situations where the intensity of the need increases, and the conditions for its satisfaction are absent, behavior is regulated using psychological defense mechanisms. F. V. Bassin defines psychological defense as a normal mechanism aimed at preventing behavioral disorders not only within the framework of conflicts between consciousness and the unconscious, but also between different emotionally colored attitudes. This special mental activity is realized in the form of specific information processing techniques that can protect a person from shame and loss of self-esteem in the context of a motivational conflict. Psychological defense is manifested in the tendency of a person to maintain a habitual opinion about himself, to reduce dissonance, rejecting or distorting information that is regarded as unfavorable and destroys the initial ideas about himself and others.

The mechanism of psychological defense is associated with the reorganization of the conscious and unconscious components of the value system and the change in the entire hierarchy of personal values, aimed at depriving the significance and thereby neutralizing psychologically traumatic moments. The functions of psychological defense are contradictory in the sense that, by contributing to the adaptation of a person to his inner world and mental state (preserving an acceptable level of self-esteem), they can worsen his adaptability to the external social environment. For example, a drop in aspirations after failure can be seen as a defense mechanism that prevents disappointment from subsequent failures, but at the same time reduces the likelihood of victory. E.A. Kostandov offered a logically coherent and convincing presentation of the deep physiological component of psychological defense. Negative emotional experiences form a stable reflex connection in the cerebral cortex. It, in turn, raises the thresholds of sensitivity and thereby inhibits the signals associated with the events that cause such experiences, preventing their awareness. Temporal connections between unconscious stimuli can

imprinted in long-term memory, be extremely persistent. This allows us to understand the way in which persistent emotional experiences arise in cases where their cause remains unconscious for the person experiencing them. Kostandov recognizes the existence of a sensitive mechanism in the brain that reacts to physically very weak, but very significant stimuli for a given person. Despite the fact that these stimuli are not recognized by a person, they can cause a number of vegetative reactions in him, leading to changes in the physiological and psychological state.

How to explain the persistence of centers of negative emotional arousal that arise when experiencing conflicts? An interesting thought on this subject is expressed by E. T. Sokolova. . She draws attention to the well-known fact that any obstacle leads to an interruption of the action until the obstacle is overcome or the person refuses to overcome it. At the same time, the action turns out to be incomplete either in its external, material plane, or in the internal, as long as the decision to overcome the obstacle or to abandon the action has not yet been made. In the case when a person does not realize the specific meaning of certain circumstances, the act of awareness itself turns out to be incomplete first of all. As shown by Zeigarnik's experiments, it is the unfinished actions (and the circumstances accompanying them) that are remembered better than the completed ones and, most importantly, are remembered involuntarily. Lewin's works also show that unfinished actions form a tendency towards their completion, and if direct completion is impossible, a person begins to perform substitutive actions. It can be assumed that the mechanisms of psychological defense are some specialized forms of substitution actions.

Under experimental conditions, a situation was reproduced that clearly revealed the effect of psychological protection. The students were asked to identify and respond as quickly as possible to a series of words presented on the screen in the absence of time. Among the words were taboo words (swear words, indecent ones) and neutral ones. It turned out that the recognition threshold for taboo words was significantly higher than for neutral ones.

It is important to note that not only the traumatic thought itself is forgotten, but also a number of others associated with it by association.

Psychological defense mechanisms usually include denial, repression, projection, identification, rationalization, inclusion, substitution, alienation, etc.

rejection It boils down to the fact that information that disturbs and can lead to conflict is not perceived. This refers to the conflict that arises when motives appear that contradict the basic attitudes of the individual, or information that threatens self-preservation, prestige, self-esteem. This method of protection comes into play in conflicts of any kind, without requiring prior learning, and is characterized by a noticeable distortion of the perception of reality. Denial is formed in childhood and often does not allow a person to adequately assess what is happening around, which, in turn, causes difficulties in behavior. For example, in a mass sociological study, adults were asked whether they were convinced by press reports that smoking causes lung cancer. A positive answer was given by 54% of non-smokers and only 28% of smokers. The majority of smokers denied the significance of the facts given, since accepting them would mean realizing a serious danger to their own health.

Repression is the most universal way to get rid of internal conflict by actively turning off

cheniya from the consciousness of an unacceptable motive or unpleasant information. For example, facts that are especially inconvenient for us are especially easily forgotten. crowding out- an unconscious mental act in which unacceptable information or motive is rejected by censorship at the threshold of consciousness. Injured pride, hurt pride and resentment can give rise to declaring false motives for one's actions in order to hide the true ones not only from others, but also from oneself. True, but unpleasant motives are repressed in order to be replaced by others that are acceptable from the point of view of the social environment and therefore do not cause shame and remorse. A false motive in this case can be dangerous because it allows you to cover up personal egoistic aspirations with socially acceptable arguments.

The repressed motive, not finding resolution in behavior, retains, however, its emotional and vegetative components. Despite the fact that the content side of the traumatic situation is not realized and a person can actively forget the very fact that he has committed some unseemly act, for example, he was afraid, nevertheless, the conflict persists, and the emotional-vegetative stress caused by it can subjectively be perceived as a state of indefinite anxiety. . Therefore, repressed drives can manifest themselves in neurotic and psychophysiological symptoms. Slips of the tongue, slips of the tongue, awkward movements also often indicate repression. Interestingly, what is most quickly repressed and forgotten by a person is not the bad that people have done to him, but the bad that he has done to himself or others. Ingratitude is associated with repression, all kinds of envy and innumerable components of inferiority complexes are repressed with great force. An excellent example of repression is given in an episode from Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, where Nikolai Rostov talks with sincere enthusiasm about his bravery on the battlefield. In reality, he was afraid, but the repression was so strong that he himself believed in his achievement.

When repressed, an unresolved conflict reveals itself with various symptoms, a high level of anxiety and a feeling of discomfort. A striking example of displacement is described in the work of A. M. Svyadosh. “Sick X., 28 years old, one day, going down the stairs in the morning to go to work, he suddenly stopped, as he had a thought: was the door left open? He returned and checked - the door was tightly closed. From that time on, an obsessive doubt began to haunt him: did the door remain open? When leaving the house, the door was closed by his wife with bolts, latches, locks, and yet, many times a day, leaving work, he was forced to return home to check if the door was left open. He understood the groundlessness of his anxiety, struggled with it, but could not overcome it. The patient himself could not associate his disease with any cause. It seemed to him that it had arisen without any external reason. And the prehistory of the disease is as follows. The patient was married a second time, he loved his first wife very much and lived with her for about two years. Towards the end of this period, he became quick-tempered, irritable, and relations with his wife began to deteriorate. One day, when he came home and left the door open, he found a note from his wife, in which she said that she had left him for another person. The patient very painfully experienced the departure of his wife, asked her to return, but she refused. A year and a half later, he married again. This marriage turned out to be successful, and they lived together for about two years, when suddenly developed disease state. The wife noted that shortly before the appearance of the described obsession, the husband became quick-tempered, irritable, grouchy, and in connection with this, relations between them worsened. The patient himself did not notice this. In this case, the obsessive state reflected the experiences of the person. The emerging internal connection between the open door and the departure of the first wife meant, in a hidden symbolic form, the fear of losing the second wife when relations with her began to deteriorate. The thought of loss turned out to be so painful for him that it was repressed, that is, it did not find reflection in consciousness, and broke through in a latent form in the form of fear of finding the door of the house open. Psychotherapy helped to realize this connection, led to getting rid of this condition. Thus, repression means suppression, exclusion from the consciousness of an impulse that provokes tension and anxiety.

It happens that a person must make some kind of difficult decision, associated for him with long-term worries and experiences. In this case, he may suddenly "forget" about this case. Similarly, he is able to completely lose the memory of his unethical act, an unfulfilled promise. An amnesic barrier arises - protective oblivion, L. N. Tolstoy called this "pushing apart the mental mechanism", which makes it possible to forget what would make life unbearable) Let's give an example of a similar situation from the novel "Resurrection". “These memories did not agree with her current worldview and therefore were completely erased from her memory, or rather they were stored somewhere in her memory untouched, but they were so locked up, smeared over, like bees cover up the nests of bugs (worms), which can destroy all bee work. so that there would be no access to them ... Maslova remembered many, but not about Nekhlyudov. She never remembered her childhood and youth, and especially her love for Nekhlyudov. It hurt too much. These memories lay somewhere far away untouched in her soul. Even in a dream, she never saw Nekhlyudov ... She needed to firmly and completely forget about all this, so as not to kill herself, not to become insane.

It is important that a person does not pretend, but really forgets unwanted, traumatic information, it is completely ousted from his memory. Therefore, if we notice that we repeatedly forget something, then it's time to ask ourselves whether we really want to use this information.

Projection- unconscious transfer (attribution) of one's own feelings, desires and inclinations, in which a person does not want to admit to himself, realizing their social unacceptability, to another person. For example, when a person has shown aggression towards someone, he often has a tendency to lower the attractive qualities of the victim. A person who constantly ascribes to others his own aspirations, contrary to his moral standards, even received a special name - a hypocrite.

Identification- an unconscious transfer to oneself of feelings and qualities inherent in another person and not available, but desirable for oneself. In children, this is the simplest mechanism for mastering the norms of social behavior.

and ethical values. So, the boy unconsciously tries to be like his father and thereby earn his love and respect. Through identification, the symbolic possession of a desired but unattainable object is also achieved. In an extended interpretation, identification is an unconscious adherence to patterns, ideals, which allows you to overcome your own weakness and feeling of inferiority.

Rationalization- a pseudo-reasonable explanation by a person of his desires, actions, in fact caused by reasons, the recognition of which would threaten the loss of self-respect. In particular, rationalization is associated with an attempt to reduce the value of the inaccessible. So, experiencing a mental trauma, a person protects himself from its destructive impact by overestimating the significance of the traumatic factor in the direction of its decrease: having not received what he passionately desired, he convinces himself that “I didn’t really want to.” Rationalization is used by a person in those special cases when he, fearful of realizing the situation, tries to hide from himself the fact that his actions are prompted by motives that are in conflict with his own moral standards. For example, the heroine of Leo Tolstoy's novel "War and Peace" Natasha needs to get rid of the thought of betraying love, betraying Prince Andrei. “Having returned home, Natasha did not sleep all night; she was tormented by the insoluble question, whom did she love: Anatole or Prince Andrei? Natasha is doing internal psychological work to explain the events that have happened with reasonable causes. This work eliminates the emotional conflict between ideas of decency and real behavior. In the end, the heroine says:

“It seems to me that I have loved him (Anatole) for a hundred years. And I didn’t love anyone like him. )