The best aphorisms of Ranevskaya. The best quotes and aphorisms of Faina Ranevskaya

Quotes and Aphorisms 01.04.2017

Dear readers, today I invite you to the article in a special mood. On April Fools' Day, let us remember the quotes and aphorisms of Faina Ranevskaya. The aphorisms of this great mockingbird continue to excite, surprise, and captivate today.

It seems that an entire era has passed (after all, Faina Ranevskaya has not been with us for more than 30 years), and this period was full of very significant historical events. Much has changed in the country, the changes are striking in the life of every family, every person. But it’s worth looking through these apt phrases again, and you understand how little the person himself, his essence, psychology, mentality, attitude towards the world and others changes over time.

Strictly speaking, not all phraseological units attributed to Faina Georgievna are her own “invention.” Those colleagues and a few friends who had the good fortune to visit her house know that the actress had a habit of “catching” interesting phrases, proverbs, catchphrases great people. She recorded them on pieces of paper and hung them in the rooms.

Of course, they were “recorded for sub-correction”, perhaps creatively transformed, edited for a specific situation and characters. And then, said to the point and in her unique manner, they acquired the status of Faina Ranevskaya’s aphorisms. Which does not detract from their dignity at all!

And it doesn’t change the fact that she herself constantly gave birth to such impromptu statements. In the life of the actress there were many difficulties, problems, and sometimes tragic circumstances. She was truly, fatally alone. And humor, sarcasm, self-irony became a saving armor from the imperfections of the world and human injustice, cruelty and cynicism.

I tried, probably very conditionally, to break down the famous best aphorisms of Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya into thematic sections. I invite you, dear readers, to go on an exciting journey through this unique world of wise and apt statements. I assure you, it will not be boring and very educational!

People are like candles!…

Those around her were amazed by her boundless kindness. How she got along with her “prickly” character was incomprehensible. She managed to quickly hand out her salary and pension, and then barely make it to the next one. She paid the man who walked the dog and the nurses for injections. She transferred a substantial amount to the Leningrad House of Stage Veterans.

It was fashionable to be friends with her, especially not burdensome. There were also those in her house whom Faina Georgievna treated with sincere respect: Vladimir Vysotsky, Anna Akhmatova, Sergei Yursky and a number of other guests dear to her heart. She always loved to treat, give and not expect anything in return. She herself ate little and was generally extremely unpretentious. But she is very observant. Ranevskaya’s quotes and aphorisms about people are evidence of this.

People, like candles, are divided into two types: some - for light and warmth, and others - in the ass...

It's better to be good person, swearing, than a quiet, well-mannered creature.

If a person has done you harm, give him some candy. He is evil to you, you are candy to him. And so on until this creature develops diabetes.

Many people complain about their appearance, but no one complains about their brains.

If you have a person to whom you can tell your dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely...

What kind of world is this? There are so many idiots around, how much fun they make!

There are people whom you just want to approach and ask if it’s difficult to live without a brain.

It has always been unclear to me that people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

People make their own problems, no one forces them to choose boring professions, marry the wrong people or buy uncomfortable shoes.

Under the most beautiful peacock tail there is always an ordinary chicken ass.

There are people in whom God lives; there are people in whom the Devil lives; and there are people in whom only worms live.

Men and women - two poles of love

Faina Ranevskaya sometimes gave out quotes and aphorisms about men and women that were quite “salty.” However, she could also speak on other topics in a very undiplomatic manner. But it’s succinct and accurate. She herself experienced a very severe disappointment in love in her early youth. And then she spoke rather sarcastically about her appearance and personal life. Of course, she fell in love, like any creative, subtle nature. But she learned to successfully hide her true feelings behind a veil of irony. I observed other people’s relationships from the outside, dropping linguistic masterpieces “in passing.”

If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, it means she understands that she will not find another such fool.

Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

Women die later than men because they are always late...

No overweight women, there are tight clothes.

God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.

The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to a heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man gives birth to a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to light flirting.

If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman holds her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!

Why beautiful women are more successful than the smart ones?
- This is obvious - after all, there are very few blind men, and stupid ones are a dime a dozen.

Why are all women such fools?

Which women do you think are more faithful - brunettes or blondes?
- Gray haired!

When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.

Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman's birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.

An employee of Radio Committee N constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague whose name was Sima: either she was crying because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him. Ranevskaya called her “HeraSima’s victim.”

You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has ever kissed me except my groom.
- Are you bragging, my dear, or are you complaining?

There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.

Medicine + diets = health? Not a fact!

Among Faina Ranevskaya’s aphorisms there are many cool statements about various aspects of medicine and health; she also discussed diets, which were “in trend” even then. The health of the actress herself was rather poor. She received a lot of treatment, including in prestigious metropolitan clinics, from which she came out with the following conviction: “The Kremlin hospital is a nightmare with all the amenities.”

One of the actors calls Faina Georgievna and inquires about her health.
“My dear,” she complains, “such a nightmare!” My head hurts, my teeth suck, my heart hurts, I cough terribly. Liver, kidneys, stomach - everything aches! My joints ache, I can barely walk... Thank God I’m not a man, otherwise I’d still have a prostate gland!

Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.

I noticed that if you don’t eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, or drink beer with fish, your face becomes smaller, but sadder...

Why don't you have plastic surgery?

What's the point! You renew the façade, but the sewage system is still old!

Ladies, don’t lose weight... You need it... It’s better to be a ruddy plump woman in old age than a dried-up monkey...

To help us see how much we are overeating, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.

To stay thin, a woman needs to eat in front of a mirror and naked.
“Faina,” her old friend asked, “do you think medicine is making progress?”
- But what about it? When I was young, I had to take off my clothes every time I visited the doctor, but now it’s enough to show my tongue.

Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

About life and loneliness

“Remember: for everything you do that is unkind, you will have to pay in the same coin... I don’t know who is watching this, but he is watching, and very carefully.” This is one of Ranevskaya’s aphorisms, which cannot be called funny or witty. This is “just” a wise observation from a person who has experienced and felt a lot. She was offended, sometimes absolutely deliberately. As happens not only in the theatrical environment, but in creative groups, bullying is usually more sophisticated. She learned to distance herself from unpleasant people, but the inevitable consequence of this was deep loneliness.

You can't fart happily with a sad ass.

Horseradish, based on the opinions of others, ensures a calm and happy life...

Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.

Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, immoral, or leads to obesity.

Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house and the alarm clock rings.

A Russian person does not want to do or think anything on an empty stomach, but on a full stomach he cannot.

Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.

Loneliness is a state that you have no one to tell about.

And what nature does to man!

Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.

The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.

Life goes by without bowing like an angry neighbor.

You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.

(Explaining to someone why the condom is white)
- Because white makes you look fat

Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.

The companion of fame is loneliness.

Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.

This is a slow but progressive transformation of the head into the ass. First in form, and then in content.

Dreams come true... You just need to stop wanting.

About theater and cinema: Stanislavsky's miscarriage

Biographers of Ranevskaya tell how she first appeared on the threshold of one of the Moscow theaters. The year was 1915, Faya managed to try herself in a number of theater projects in the south of Russia. She arrived at the theater director with a letter of recommendation from the director’s friend, the Moscow entrepreneur Sokolovsky.

“Dear Vanyusha,” a colleague wrote, “I am sending you this lady just to get rid of her. You yourself somehow delicately, with a hint, in parentheses, explain to her that she has nothing to do on stage, that she has no prospects. It’s really inconvenient for me to do this for a number of reasons, so you, my friend, somehow dissuade her from acting career- it will be better for both her and the theater. This is complete mediocrity, she plays all the roles exactly the same, her last name is Ranevskaya...”

Fortunately, the recipient did not listen to the entrepreneur’s recommendations. And the world recognized one of the greatest actresses of the 20th century. In addition, we can now read aphorisms and quotes from Faina Ranevskaya. True, in the theater for half a century she played only 17 roles, plus she embodied approximately the same number of film images.

I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.

Critiques are Amazons in menopause.

Once on the southern sea, Ranevskaya pointed her hand at a flying seagull and said:
- The Moscow Art Theater flew.

Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.

Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.

They say that this performance is not successful with the audience?
- Well, that's putting it mildly. I called the box office yesterday and asked when the show started.
- And what?
- They answered me: “When will it be convenient for you?”

This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!

I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.

I don't recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage.

We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!

How wrong it is to believe that there are no irreplaceable actors.

About colleagues: everything will be real!

Sergei Yursky said that after filming Cinderella, Faina Georgievna received an “indecently large” fee. She was really ashamed of this substantial amount, began asking her colleagues at the theater who needed what, and quickly spent the money. And only when I had given everything away did I come to my senses: I myself had no money to buy the piece of fabric that I had planned to purchase. Nevertheless, they slandered her behind her back, and even made sarcasm to her face about her appearance and “obnoxious” character. It was against this background that Ranevskaya’s funny aphorisms about her colleagues appeared.

(About director Yu. Zavadsky) He will die from the expansion of his imagination.

(About director Yu. Zavadsky) Perpetum male.

(Dialogue with Zavadsky)
- Faina Georgievna, you devoured my entire directorial plan with your acting!
- I have a feeling that I’ve had enough of crap!

“I can’t stand mass in a brothel,” she said about the chief director’s performances before the troupe. - Do you know what Zavadsky dreams about? That he died and was buried in the Kremlin wall!

“I’m very sorry, Faina Georgievna, that you weren’t at the premiere of my new play,” Victor Rozov boasted to Ranevskaya. - The people at the cash registers staged a complete massacre!
- And how? Did they manage to get the money back?

The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress.
“Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her. - That's it: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.

About myself: I'm like an old palm tree at a train station

“Each of us has our own Mulya,” one of her really close friends, Anna Akhmatova, consoled her.
- What kind of Mulya do you have? - asked Faina Georgievna.
“I clenched my hands under a dark veil,” Anna Andreevna grinned.

They became friends during the war, in evacuation in Tashkent. Then the poetess recalled: Ranevskaya constantly followed her with a notebook, writing down thoughts and lines of future poems that Akhmatova “dropped.” And then, absent-mindedly, she lit the potbelly stove with them.
“Madam, you are 11 years old and you will never be 12,” Akhmatova laughed.  At that time, Ranevskaya was 46, and Akhmatova was 53.

Faina Georgievna, unlike many other wits, was always very self-critical. Therefore, among best aphorisms Ranevskaya - her statements about herself.

Only the pill, the brain and the ass have a soul mate. I'm whole from the start!!!

My favorite disease is scabies: I scratch it and want more. And the most hated thing is hemorrhoids: you can’t see it for yourself, you can’t show it to people.

Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.

Everyone who loved me didn't like me. And those I loved did not love me. My appearance has deprived me of my privacy!

Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy.

In my old head there are two, at most three, thoughts, but at times they create such a fuss that it seems like there are thousands of them.

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

It's been a long time since anyone told me that I'm a whore. I'm losing popularity.

All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially women. You never know how to talk to them without sinking to their level.

This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that's been dropped in there.

I, like eggs, participate, but do not enter.

I've been swimming in the toilet butterfly style my whole life.

Do you know, honey, what shit is? So this is JAM compared to my life!

I don't see faces, but personal insults.

I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs it, but it’s a shame to throw it away.

(Looking at the hole in her skirt) Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty!

I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.

Think and say whatever you want about me. Where have you seen a cat that was interested in what mice had to say about it?

What am I doing? I feign health.

When I was 20 years old, I only thought about love. Now I only like to think.

I feel well, but not well.

Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?
- No, I just look like that.

When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”

My God, how life has slipped by, I have never even heard nightingales sing.

It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!

Old age and small joys

Faina Ranevskaya, whose quotes and aphorisms we remember today, has always loved animals. They brightened up her lonely existence. She hired nannies for a mongrel named Boy and fed him delicacies. She used to say: “My dog lives like Sarah Bernhardt, and I live like a dog.”

Old age is a time when the candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half the urine goes for testing.

Old age is just disgusting. I believe it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age.

Getting old is boring, but... the only way live long.

I still remember decent people... God, how old I am!

Memories are the riches of old age.

Old age is when you don't worry bad dreams, but a bad reality.

Situations and dialogues

Faina Ranevskaya gave birth to quotes and aphorisms on the fly. Sometimes she could quite sharply “shave off” a boor, and sometimes she invented elegant formulations. Rather, not for the offenders, who are unlikely to appreciate this verbal balancing act, but for more advanced colleagues.

Ranevskaya was walking down the street when a man pushed her. The ignoramus was smart enough to curse the elderly woman with dirty words. Faina Georgievna reacted outwardly calmly:
- For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.

Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you determine this?
- Two were sitting on a beer bottle, and three were on a mirror.

Once I slipped and fell on the street. A man was walking towards the actress.
- Pick me up! - she asked. - People's Artists don't lie on the road...

After the performance, the artists were transported home by a crowded bus. Suddenly an obscene sound was heard in the crowd. Ranevskaya leaned towards her neighbor’s ear and whispered, but so that everyone could hear, she said:
- Do you feel it, darling? Someone got a second wind!

Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station.
“It’s a pity that we didn’t take the piano,” says Faina Georgievna.
“It’s not witty,” one of the accompanying people remarks.
“It’s really not witty,” Ranevskaya sighs. — The fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano.

(To the administrator who found her completely naked in the dressing room)
- Aren't you shocked that I smoke?

I adore nature.
- And this after what she did to you?

The bell doesn't work, when you arrive, knock your feet.
- Why with your feet?
- But you’re not going to come empty-handed!

Memory of the Heart

Faina Georgievna was unpretentious in everyday life. She had neither a car nor a dacha. Few people know that she was fond of painting. I gave away my paintings to my colleagues, which were quite talentedly painted.

Finally, let me remind you of a few more aphorisms by Faina Ranevskaya on different topics, which were recorded by guests of her hospitable home.

(About Lenin) You know, when I saw this bald man on the armored car, I realized: big troubles awaited us.

Is my shallow thought clear?

Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.

Now, when a person is embarrassed to say that he does not want to die, he says this: he really wants to survive in order to see what happens next. As if, if not for this, he would immediately be ready to lie down in a coffin.

Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.

It's very hard to be a genius among boogers.

I hate cynicism for its general availability.

Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.

Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with oneself and one's shortcomings, which I have never encountered in mediocrity.

Dear friends! The memory of the heart is indeed not always cloudless. But she leaves us with both joyful and anxious moments of our life, everything that is dear and that actually makes up this life. Today we touched upon an inexhaustible source - one of the facets of Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya’s talent. Something was left beyond the scope of this material, but we remembered a lot and experienced it with you. I hope this communication was bright and useful.

I thank my blog reader Lyubov Mironova for her help in preparing the material for this article.

Photographs by the famous Soviet photographer Dmitry Baltermants were used as illustrations for the article. He worked for many years at the Ogonyok magazine, and for almost half a century the country looked at the world through his eyes. For many years, Baltermants was considered the main Soviet photographer, who received recognition from his colleagues abroad during his lifetime. Thanks to Anna Blintsova, blog designer, for her wonderful work.

And for the soul and mood, I suggest watching another video material with the best quotes and aphorisms of Faina Ranevskaya.

Faina Ranevskaya: catchphrases about women

The actress has a great variety of caustic remarks. Surely, many have heard this one:

“If a woman walks with her head down, it means she has a lover. If a woman walks proudly with her head raised, then she definitely has a lover. If a woman walks and holds her head straight, then she has a lover. And in general, if a woman has a head, then she certainly has a lover!”

Or this one: “If you want to lose weight, then eat naked and in front of a mirror!”

But this is more of an anecdote than a catchphrase:

Today I killed 5 flies. Of these, two were males and three were females.

And how did you manage to determine this?

Easily! Two were sitting on a bottle of beer, and three were on the mirrors.

About loneliness

Faina Ranevskaya was never married and had no children. In old age, she acutely felt loneliness, and some of her phrases were specifically about this condition.

“Loneliness is a condition that you don’t even have anyone to tell about.”
Or: “Loneliness is when, even if there is a telephone in the house, only the alarm clock rings.”

Faina Ranevskaya, the great Russian actress, died in 1984 at the age of 88, leaving behind a large collection of aphorisms and films with her participation.

“The pearls I’m wearing in the first act must be real,” demands the aspiring actress. “Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her, “pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.”
- Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females. - How did you determine this? “Two were sitting on a beer bottle, and three were on a mirror,” explained Faina Georgievna.
“Old age,” said Ranevskaya, “is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes for tests.”
- My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you.
(Looking at the hole in her skirt) Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! Critiques are Amazons in menopause.
..Sick of the theater. Country toilet. It's a shame to end your life in a toilet.
Anna Akhmatova once asked Faina Ranevskaya: “Please tell me why you needed to drive all the tanks through chest old, poor woman?
My God, how life has slipped by, I have never even heard nightingales sing.
God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
My God! How quickly life flashed by! And I didn’t even hear the nightingales sing.
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my cotton dresses cause widespread confusion - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous “stinginess” - because no one believes in poverty.
In a letter to Faina Ranevskaya, Lyubov Orlova, already aged, wrote: “I thought for a long time how vile and outrageous. After all, you and I did not beg for the roles that the theater feeds. We behaved incorrectly, we should have yelled, made a fuss, complained to the Ministry. But...We don't have the same characters. Dignity does not allow.”
Memories are the riches of old age.
I've been swimming in the toilet butterfly style my whole life.
Do you know, honey, what shit is? So it’s like jam compared to my life.
You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has ever kissed me except my groom. - “Are you bragging, my dear, or are you complaining?”
Looking at the hole in your skirt: Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty!
They say that this performance is not successful with the audience? “Well, that’s putting it mildly,” Ranevskaya noted. - I called the box office yesterday and asked when the show started. - And what? - They answered me: “When will it be convenient for you?”
The money is eaten up, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)
It has always been and remains a mystery for me: how could great actors play with mediocre artists from whom there was nothing to catch - not even a runny nose? / Soviet actress Faina Ranevskaya
Think and say whatever you want about me. Where have you seen a cat that was interested in what mice had to say about it?
The soul is not an ass. He can't take a shit.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
If I, yielding to requests, began to write about myself, it would be a plaintive book - “Fate is a whore.”
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress. “Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her. - That's it: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
My life... I lived around, everything didn’t work out. Like the redhead at the carpet.
Life goes by without bowing like an angry neighbor.
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
You know, when I saw this bald guy on the armored car, I realized: big troubles awaited us. (About Lenin)
Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street and cursed her with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him: “For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use.” But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly. “His voice sounds like he’s pissing in a zinc bucket.”
How sad it is when they fly away! - said Faina Ranevskaya when, at the exit from the bank, the wind tore banknotes from her hands.
How wrong it is to believe that there are no irreplaceable actors.
When I don't get a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.
When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
Critiques are Amazons in menopause.
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really loves it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? There are also Gangsters in the movies.
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions,” Ranevskaya said. — Real perversions are field hockey and ice ballet.
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions, Ranevskaya strictly explains: “Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.”
It has always been unclear to me that people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
I don't see faces, but personal insults
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
To the question: “Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?” - she usually answered: “No, I just look like that.”
To the question: “Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?” - She habitually answered: “No, I just look like that.”
A Russian person doesn’t want to do or think anything on an empty stomach, but on a full stomach he can’t.
On the street, Ranevskaya was pushed by a passerby and cursed at her. Faina Georgievna told him: “For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use.” But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! (Looking at the hole in her skirt)
Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that we are constantly, 80 percent, surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble! / Soviet actress Faina Ranevskaya
We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!
A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman's birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
Faina Georgievna said about her life: “If I, yielding to requests, began to write about myself, it would be a plaintive book - “Fate is a whore.”
Explaining to someone why the condom was white, Ranevskaya said: “Because white makes you look fat.”
Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.
Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones? - This is obvious, because there are very few blind men, and stupid ones are a dime a dozen.
One day Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. The Moscow City Council, where Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya worked (and with whom she had a far from rosy relationship), shouted in the heat of the moment to the actress: “Faina Georgievna, you devoured my entire directorial plan with your acting!” “That’s why I feel like I’m full of crap!” - Ranevskaya retorted.
He will die from the expansion of his fantasy.
Spelling errors in writing are like a bug on a white blouse.
Oh, those obnoxious journalists! Half the lies they spread about me are not true.
A person's passport is his misfortune, because a person should always be eighteen, and a passport only reminds you that you can live like an eighteen-year-old.
Perpetum male. (About director Yu. Zavadsky)
Pee-wee on the tram is all he did in art.
I receive letters: “Help me become an actor.” I answer: “God will help!”
After the performance, Ranevskaya often looked at the flowers, the basket with letters, postcards and notes full of admiration - offerings from fans of her acting - and sadly remarked: - There is so much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
Mediocrity always thinks a lot about itself and says to itself: “Today I played as amazingly as ever! Do you know that I’m also very modest? All of Europe knows how modest I am!” / Soviet actress Faina Ranevskaya
There cannot be many poets. / Soviet actress Faina Ranevskaya
Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.
Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.
Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station. “It’s a pity that we didn’t take the piano,” says Faina Georgievna. “It’s not witty,” notes one of the accompanying people. “It’s really not witty,” Ranevskaya sighs. — The fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano.
A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
You should stay at home with such an ass!
Nowadays actors cannot remain silent. And by the way, talk too. / Soviet actress Faina Ranevskaya
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
How many times does a woman blush in her life? — Four times: on the wedding night, when she cheats on her husband for the first time, when she takes money for the first time, when she gives money for the first time. And the man? — Twice: the first time when the second one cannot, the second time when the first one cannot.
Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
Radio Committee employee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she cried because of another quarrel, then he abandoned her, then she had an abortion from him. Ranevskaya called her “HeraSima’s victim.”
The companion of fame is loneliness.
It became funny. The great ones live like people, but I live like a stray dog, although I have a home! There is a stray dog, she lives in my care - I live as a lonely dog, and it won’t be long, thank God. Who would have known how unhappy I was in this damned life, with all my talents. Who would know my loneliness! Success is stupid for me, who is smart, to rejoice at it. I didn’t know success in myself... I was smart enough to live my life stupidly,” Faina Ranevskaya complained just before her death
The old mug did not become my tragedy. At the age of 22, I was already wearing makeup as an old woman, I got used to it, and fell in love with old women. / Soviet actress Faina Ranevskaya
Growing old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Old age is a time when the candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half the urine goes for testing.
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
Old age is just disgusting. I believe it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
This type of ass is called a “playing ass.”
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
What am I doing? I feign health.
This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
To help us see how much we are overeating, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.
This lady can already choose who she wants to impress.
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that's been dropped in there.
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.
I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs it, but it’s a shame to throw it away.
I don’t recognize the word “play.” You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage. / Soviet actress Faina Ranevskaya
I slept with all the theaters in Moscow, but with no one I received satisfaction! / Soviet actress Faina Ranevskaya
I'm a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk she didn’t serve!..
I feel well, but not well.
I'm a social psychopath. Komsomol member with a paddle. You can touch me on the subway. It’s me standing there, half-bent over, in a bathing cap and copper panties, which all the October kids are trying to get into. I work in the subway as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.
I, by virtue of the talent given to me, squeaked like a mosquito.

Women are a hundred times smarter. Show me at least one lady who suddenly lost her head from slender male legs. There are no such unique individuals of the weaker sex in nature, unlike men.

Homosexuality is nothing. Here's the ballet slippery ice, or grass hockey - this is a real perversion! – Faina Ranevskaya

In the dressing room, a naked Ranevskaya sat down on an ottoman and lit a cigarette. A male director enters to wish Faina success. Pause. The director was taken aback, to which the actress, after a prolonged silence, said: “I want to apologize for the cigarette smoke and other inconveniences.”

The radio station employee was always preoccupied difficult relationships with her lover Sima. He continued to date, but categorically did not make commitments to the girl. They constantly got together and diverged, quarreled over trifles, the girl had abortions, but did not leave Sima. The girl felt sorry for Ranevskaya, affectionately calling her a victim of HeraSima.

Looking at the torn skirt, Ranevskaya said: “Beauty will cut a path for itself. It is impossible to contain the beautiful within the narrow limits of what is permitted!”

Everything will be real. And pearls in the first act, and a capsule with poison in the finale!

Read the continuation of the best aphorisms and quotes of Faina Ranevskaya on the pages:

You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.

Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:

Is my shallow thought clear?

Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.

You know, when I saw this bald guy on the armored car, I realized: big troubles awaited us. (About Lenin)

What am I doing? I feign health.

The money is eaten up, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)

Without hesitation, she answered: “Grey hair!”

I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.

Old age is just disgusting. I believe it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age.

This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that's been dropped in there.

You should stay at home with such an ass!

But what? When I was young, I had to take off my clothes every time I visited the doctor, but now it’s enough to show my tongue.

My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you.

I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs it, but it’s a shame to throw it away.

I play the role of eggs: I participate, but do not enter.

If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.

God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.

It has always been unclear to me that people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.

Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions, Ranevskaya strictly explains: Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.

I, by virtue of the talent given to me, squeaked like a mosquito.

We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!

Faina, asks her old friend, do you think medicine is making progress?

In the carriage compartment, an annoying fellow passenger is trying to get Ranevskaya to talk.

A Russian person doesn’t want to do or think anything on an empty stomach, but on a full stomach he cannot.

If I kept a diary, I would write down one phrase every day: What mortal melancholy, that’s all.

A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman’s birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman’s birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.

Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.

Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

To help us see how much we are overeating, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.

Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really loves it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? There are also Gangsters in the movies.

I receive letters: Help me become an actor. I answer: God will help!

I'm a social psychopath. Komsomol member with a paddle. You can touch me on the subway. It’s me standing there, half-bent over, in a bathing cap and copper panties, which all the October kids are trying to get into. I work in the subway as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.

There are no fat women, only small clothes.

Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.

Come, I’ll show you photographs of unknown people’s artists of the USSR,” Ranevskaya called to her.

I don't recognize the word play. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage.

Young man! I still remember decent people... God, how old I am!

Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.

Once Ranevskaya, picking up the phone, heard the voice of one of her fans, which was very annoying to her, and said: Sorry, I can’t continue the conversation. I'm speaking from a machine, and there's a big line here.

I've been swimming in the toilet butterfly style my whole life.

Critiques are Amazons in menopause.

On my tombstone write Died of disgust.

I'm a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk she didn’t serve!..

This kind of ass is called a playful ass.

Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.

Because white color makes you look fat.

I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.

To the question: Are you sick, Faina Georgievna? - she usually answered: No, I just look like that.

The companion of glory is loneliness.

Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.

It is known that Ranevskaya allowed herself strong expressions, and when she was remarked that in the literary Russian language there is no word ass-pa, she replied - strange, there is no word, but there is ass...

The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress.

Everything will come true, you just have to stop wanting...

Pee-wee on the tram is all he did in art.

Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? Ranevskaya was once asked.

Honey, how do I know him? I never call myself!

Life goes by without bowing like an angry neighbor.

Ranevskaya stood in her makeup room completely naked. And she smoked. Suddenly, the managing director of the Mossovet Theater, Valentin Shkolnikov, entered her without knocking. And he froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: “Aren’t you shocked that I smoke?”

An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she cried because of another quarrel, then he abandoned her, then she had an abortion from him + Ranevskaya called her the victim of HeraSima.

A woman must have two qualities to succeed in life. She should be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men, Ranevskaya said.

Perpetum male. (About director Yu. Zavadsky)

How wrong it is to believe that there are no irreplaceable actors.

Here's a cucumber for you. If you want, eat it, if you want, live with it..

Growing old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.

Talent is like a wart - either it is there or it is not.

I feel well, but not well.

This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!

A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Beautiful so that men can love them, and stupid so that they can love men.

At the same evening, Ranevskaya was asked: Which women, in your opinion, are inclined to be more faithful, brunettes or blondes? Without hesitation she answered: Gray haired!

Which women do you think are more likely to be faithful, brunettes or blondes?”

A lady can now choose who she wants to impress.

In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my cotton dresses cause widespread confusion - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous “stinginess” - because no one believes in poverty.

People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them.

Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

When I don't get a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.

A fan asks for Ranevskaya’s home phone number. She:

Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.

When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”

I don't see faces, but personal insults.

He will die from the expansion of his fantasy. (About director Yu. Zavadsky)

Old age is a time when the candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half the urine goes for testing.

Either I’m getting old and stupid, or the youth of today are like nothing else! Previously, I simply didn’t know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking.

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.

Optimism is a lack of information.

It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!

Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.

When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.

This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.

My God, how life has slipped by, I have never even heard nightingales sing.

Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.

Having seen actress X. perform the role of an Uzbek girl in the play Kahara at the Mossovet branch on Pushkinskaya Street, Ranevskaya exclaimed: I can’t when the whore pretends to be innocent.