Habits make a person. Aristotle said: “We are what we do all the time.” If you want to be productive, you need to have the habit of planning. If you want to be in shape, you need to get into the habit of exercising. What do your habits say about you?

In the life of each of us (it happens more than once) there comes a day when we decide that we need to part with bad habit and get a useful one in return. If you have to decide every day whether you will go to the gym, whether you will go out, whether you will read a book, relying on your mood and circumstances, in the end you will not do any of this. You have to make the same choices every day, and when you don't remember your goals and generally break off all contact with yourself, you become less confident in yourself and achieve less success in everything you do. The first time you call yourself a failure, it can be quite a prophecy.

If life seems difficult to someone, it means that he failed to develop good habits. Every day is a struggle between our desires and what we do instead. There are people who never find pleasure in the habits that make them stronger, healthier and happier. Enjoyment comes only when these habits become automatic, giving you that same feeling of satisfaction from life and constant progress.

If you are unhappy with your habits, below we will give you some tips on how to improve the situation.

How to develop a habit

1. One thing at a time

Many men I know never change because they try to change everything about themselves at once. Sometimes it happens that you are so dissatisfied with yourself and your life that you even make a list of things that you need to change. For some reason, you believe that starting from next day you will definitely transform. This idea drives you to exhaustion. Changing one habit is already hard enough, but changing five habits at once is almost impossible. When you juggle ten balls, you eventually get tired and fall to the floor.

For example, to repay a loan, there is good method snowball How does it work? You need to make a list of all your debts and find the smallest among them. First you need to pay it off, and then find the second largest debt and pay it off gradually using the funds that you allocated to pay off the first debt. Success with paying off your first debt will motivate you to pay off your debts in the future. As success develops, everything goes about the same way. Start with the habit that is easiest to develop. You will gain confidence in yourself when it takes root, and immediately take on the next one. Your confidence will snowball and when you get to the hardest habit, you'll have the strength to do it.

It’s hard not to grab onto everything at once: at the first moment you want to do just that. But only gradualism will lead you to success. Patience my friend.

2. Start as intense as possible

To take off, a rocket needs a lot of energy, otherwise it will not be able to overcome gravity. To develop a habit, a person also needs a huge amount of energy. When you're developing a new habit or trying to quit an old one, you need something that will keep your spirit up and make you receptive to change. First let's go all out. Say goodbye to your negative friends, pack your bags and move, buy an annual gym membership, throw all the cigarettes out of the house - whatever. This is already a big deal.

3. Aim for 60 days

Perhaps the theory that a habit is created in 21 days is true. By the way, it was created plastic surgeon Maxwell Moltz, a self-proclaimed psychologist who wrote the book “Psychocybernetics” (the same “Secret” from the sixties). There is no scientific evidence for this.

Recent studies have found that on average, a habit is acquired in 66 days. The number of days depends on the type of habit you are trying to develop. Simple Habits It seems that drinking a glass of water on an empty stomach strengthens faster, but training slows down.

So give yourself 60 days to form your new habit. Two months is a long enough time to grow into something. But you're a man, you can handle it!

4. Don't break the chain

If you decide to develop or quit a habit, you cannot make any exceptions for yourself. No “This time doesn’t count”! You can find any excuse you want, but such an action will be imprinted on your brain and on your attitude, and from that moment on you will begin to do yourself some favors.

If you missed something once, it will be easier for you to do it a second time, and then abandon the idea altogether. Every day counts. Any excuses harm your personality, your self-esteem and doom your intentions to failure.

How to motivate yourself? Create a chain of habits. We need to make something like a calendar and hang it on the wall. Every day, when you finish what you started, put a big and beautiful cross on this day.

In a few days you will have a chain. Just don't interrupt it and it will get longer every day. You'll love it, especially after a few weeks. Your only task is not to break the chain.

I've used this system several times and it works. There is something in it when you see a series of red crosses following each other on the calendar. She motivates you to go forward, and thanks to her you are afraid to interrupt the sequence.

5. Give someone a report

This is even more motivating than a calendar full of red crosses. You need to have a person to whom you will report. It's easy to give up everything if no one even knows you're up to something. A reporting partner is someone who can ask you about your progress and hold you to honesty. Even the thought that you will have to tell him about your weakness motivates you to continue on your way. You can ask your friends to ask you about your progress every week, start a blog (so that people read it!) and write there regularly about your achievements. You might end up making a bet.

6. Replace a bad habit with a good one

Based on my own experience, I will say, the only way To kill a bad habit is to replace it with a useful one. Nature abhors a vacuum. If a hole appears in your life and is not filled with anything good, it will definitely be filled with something bad - for example, a bad habit: old or new.

For example, several years ago I tried to quit drinking Diet Coke. Why? First of all, it contains the sweetener aspartame, which is a very carcinogenic thing. Secondly, you can spend 300 rubles a week on something better.

Every time I decided to give up soda, I managed for a week or two, and then trudged to the store and finally bought the coveted can. Looking back at my failures, I understand what I did wrong. It was necessary to replace it with another drink. Now I decided to replace the Diet Coke with the mat and things have gotten much better.

Your habits, good and bad, create well-trodden paths in your brain. It’s like walking through the forest: at first it’s difficult to make your way through the grass and bushes, but then a path forms in this place, and walking along it becomes easy. The brain wants you to follow the beaten path because it has already been paved. That's why it's so hard to give up bad habits.

You can't just erase the paths. Instead, you can tread a parallel path. At first it will not be very easy, but finally the good habit will become a clear and comfortable path, while the old habit will grow into grass and gradually disappear.

7. Just do it

No matter how much something inspires or motivates us, we somehow fail to take every opportunity to put our ideas into action. If we never do this, no habit will form. It is important to act constantly. Personally, I find it hard to do anything for longer than a week. Everyone loves the idea of ​​starting over clean slate, it’s nice to reflect on changes for the better in our lives. Buying a new planner for planning is also interesting.

But when a week or even two passes, interest subsides, and this time is what distinguishes a man from a boy. Developing a new habit is daily work. This is an endurance test. The main thing here is not to give up, not to stop striving for what you want because of your current mood. Don't let your brain tell you that your discomfort in the present will definitely last for a long time. It won't. In the end you'll trample a new path, and everything will become easier, it will become automatic, and you will see how pleasant it is.

According to researchers from Duke University, about 40% of our actions are done out of habit. Understanding how to form good habits (and how the ones you already have work) is essential to your health, happiness, and overall quality of life.

This article contains the basic principles of creating or forming new habits from a scientific point of view.

1. Start with a very small habit

People who cannot overcome themselves and create a healthy habit often say: “I just need more motivation” or “I don’t have willpower, there’s nothing I can do.”

But this is not true: recent research has shown that willpower is like a muscle. It can be developed and strengthened, but with frequent use fatigue occurs. In addition, all people's motivation is not constantly at the same level: it increases and decreases from time to time.

This problem can be solved by starting with a simple habit that requires little to no willpower to complete. To develop healthy habits, instead of jumping straight into 50 push-ups a day, start with 5 and then Instead of ten minutes of meditation, do the practice for just a minute.

It's all so simple that you won't need serious motivation.

2. Increase your exercise frequency gradually and slowly

Instead of aiming for amazing results at the beginning of the journey, gradually increase the time spent forming a habit: number of sets, number of push-ups, time with a book, number of English words, learned per day, etc.

It has been verified that even a 1% increase trend very quickly improves the quality of classes. Along the way, you will increase your willpower and motivation, which will help you stick to the habit for a long time.

3. Break down your workload into chunks.

By increasing your daily work output by just 1% per day, you will see big gains very quickly. But how to maintain motivation and momentum for exercise when, for example, the number of push-ups has already reached 50?

As they say, “you have to eat an elephant in pieces”: break the volume into several parts. Instead of 20 minutes of meditation, give yourself 2 sets of 10 minutes each. The same thing with push-ups: instead of 50, do 5 sets of 10.

4. If you get off track, continue as quickly as possible.

If you want to achieve a new quality of life, start with new habits. Of course, useful skills are not so easy to make into your daily ritual. I'll suggest several working methods.

1 way. Give New Habits Visibility

Many of our undertakings fail not because we have weak willpower, or we are bad, or anything else. The cause may be poor memory. Or rather, just short.

Knowing this, you can begin to manage changes in your life.

For example, many times I was going to start drinking the prescribed two liters of water a day, but I didn’t do it because I kept forgetting about them.

The solution was simple: I need to make sure that I always remember this.

And then I put a jug of water on the window, so I wouldn’t be able to forget about it.

Every day I saw this reminder jug, drank water from it, and in this simple way, finally accustomed myself to the prescribed norm.

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Method 2. Eliminate selection

For example, you want to start eating healthy. Then don't rely on chance. Don’t think that when you come home from work, tired and hungry, you will start preparing salads and boiling vegetables.

This won't happen! Well, really, it won't! When I come home hungry, I can eat yesterday's sandwiches. And at this point I don't care how harmful it is.

To instill in yourself proper nutrition, make a choice without a choice. Take some time over the weekend to plan your meals for the week.
Photo source: pixabay.com

Don't think you can make it up as you go. Write a menu, buy products and leave only those in the refrigerator. Don't forget to think about your diet during working hours.

And then - like it or not, you will have to eat something healthy. A simple and ingenious solution.

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• Do you want to do yoga? Place a rug on the sofa and prepare sports items instead of home items.

• Do you want to learn English? Stick new words on the toilet door with inside or put a dictionary there, you still need to read something there :)

• Have you planned to keep a gratitude journal? Place it on the table on top of your main tasks, and hide the rest.

Make it so that you can't actually do anything until you accomplish what you set out to do.

Let everything around you remind you of new habits and commitments.

Decide what habits you need and come up with tricks for yourself. Time will pass and you are guaranteed to become a new person.

3 way. Punish yourself for negative habits or compensate for them with useful ones

In addition to the fact that we want to instill new habits in ourselves, sometimes we want to get rid of the negative ones that we already have.

For myself, I found one way that kills two birds with one stone.

The technology is as follows.

• We select two tasks:

1. The quality you want to get rid of. These could be bad habits, obsessive actions, bad thoughts - everything that doesn’t make you happy and that you would like to remove from your life. In my case, I had internal doubts about my abilities.

2. A habit that you want to instill in yourself. The one that doesn't go as easily as you want. It is advisable that it is not too easy to graft. It could be any physical exercise, proper nutrition, language learning. It could also just be unpleasant things that you have been putting off and haven’t done for a long time. For myself, I chose push-ups. I've been wanting to strengthen my arms for a long time.

Gradually, you will accustom your body to the fact that every negative action has consequences. And if they are not very pleasant, the body will begin to self-regulate and will try to avoid doing things that could lead to these consequences.

In my case, it turns out like this: even if I don’t resist what I hear, then I do what shows me that I am capable of much. And this gives me confidence. So there is a benefit to this in any case.

If I needed to enhance the effect, then I could do an uncomfortable, scary thing as a replacement. Having done it, I, again, become stronger. Full bonuses.

Similar methods are described in the book Test Therapy.

For example, get up at three in the morning and wash the floor.

Positive reinforcement

The second variation of the fight against negative habits uses positive reinforcement - you compensate for every negative action with something useful.

For example, if you tell yourself that you are a failure, then you must provide five proofs that you are quite capable of achieving success.

Moreover, every time you need to remember the same reproach and come up with new successful actions.

• We smoked a cigarette, ate five apples or drank water.

• If you curse, thank everyone and give compliments all day long.

• If you had a fight with someone, let’s go do good deeds.

Very simple technique.

The main thing is to make sure that the undesirable behavior is somehow either compensated by more benefits, or becomes disadvantageous and inconvenient.

Good luck instilling habits!

Surely you have heard the popular belief that first a person forms his habits, and then his habits form him.

What if the quality of life no longer suits us? The answer is obvious: change the “minus” to “plus”. But where should you start? We propose to understand in detail the concept of “habit” and get acquainted with the mechanism for introducing “benefits” into our lives. We assure you: if you follow simple recommendations, reality will definitely change for the better.

What are our habits?

A habit is an automatically established pattern of behavior when another set of actions does not even come to mind. An important detail: when we bring anything to life, we feel comfortable, even if it is not in the best possible way affects our well-being. For example, snacking on the run, biting your nails, flying into a rage at the slightest remark, etc.

I wonder if our little weaknesses are acquired or innate? The clear answer is the first. We often do not realize how much the example of our parents and loved ones matters to us. Children are simply masters at “scanning” stereotypes of parental behavior. Is it any wonder if your offspring runs to the bathroom after every meal to brush his teeth or throws things all over the house?

We are all composed of a collection of habits that are servants as the most outstanding people, and chronic losers. What does this mean? Good habits make our lives better, while bad habits stealthily destroy it. The first group of “helpers” includes, for example, running in the morning, giving up alcohol, mastering the touch typing method on a computer, the ability to earn money, planning the day, etc. Our “enemies” can be smoking, drinking strong coffee on an empty stomach, sleeping less than 6 hours a day, and neglecting physical activity.

The good news is that the habits in your arsenal are not a death sentence. It is not only possible, but also necessary to work with them in order to become more successful, healthy, beautiful and happy. Where should you start?

Instilling good habits

First of all, you should decide on a list of habits that you want to implement in your life. Maybe you would like to start in the morning or get up 1.5 hours earlier? Or maybe an hour of reading or going to the pool 3 times a week would be your dream? There is no limit to perfection, so write whatever comes to mind. Look carefully at the list you receive: which two habits from it are the highest priority? We will focus our attention on them in the near future, because as effectively as possible you can introduce no more than a couple of “habits” at the same time.

Secondly, don’t try to get everything at once. For example, your goal is to run in the morning. To get up at the agreed time, you will have to go to bed early in the evening. If this is a problem for you, analyze: maybe you should watch less TV or spend time on the computer? But you shouldn’t immediately eradicate your usual way of life: watching a TV show “after midnight” can be replaced by reading a few pages of a magazine or book. The habit has taken root - we move on to the next stage: we give up.

Thirdly, the desired habit should be introduced into life gradually. So, the desire to get up early should be divided into several stages. For example, first bring to automaticity planning your outfit, packing your bag and thinking through the idea of ​​breakfast in the evening. Then we move on to working on the next stage - we start getting up in the morning when the alarm clock rings, and do not reset its clock. After such preparation, your schedule will easily include an hour and a half in the morning, which you can spend at your discretion.

Fourth, never give up on your goal. Remember: it takes at least 3-4 weeks of regular action for a habit to go from being an aspiration to being a given. If you miss at least one day, the countdown of 21-28 days will begin again. Alternatively, you can create a daily action plan for yourself, in which you will cross off your completed efforts. It would be great if you made a public statement to your family about your desire to bring something useful into your life. This approach will help you not to give up when the desire to quit everything is as strong as possible.

Probably the most important thing you should do when instilling a new habit is to have a sincere desire to improve your life and understand what all the effort is for. Think about how often you plan to start new life from Monday. However, the desired day is replaced by another, and the result is zero. Only when you find a solid answer to the questions “why do I need all this” and “what will I get in the final” can you begin a specific set of actions. Then there will be both results and pride in your achievements.

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It’s not for nothing that they say that habit is second nature. Artificially creating a “new personality” is as difficult as getting rid of an existing one. For example, I would really like to exchange eating sweets at 5-6 o’clock in the evening (otherwise my head refuses to work) for 20-minute bodyflex exercises. And every day I get on the mat to study with the same naturalness with which I absorb. Is this possible?

“Let's admit that almost all of our lives consist of routines that have developed over the course of many years, and it’s impossible to make changes to it instantly, says Scott Young, coach, author of the website Pick The Brain. — Some new habits take months to establish, but it’s worth it - they will stay with you. Use the right techniques, and everything will definitely work out.” Here they are:

1. Promise yourself that you will reinforce the new habit for 30 days, and after that you will have the right to refuse it. Treat the innovation as a game, a small experiment: why not play, for example, for just one month? A runner? Dancer? Such a limitation will make the process psychologically comfortable (the word “forever” scares us), and the habit will quietly take hold. After 30 days, extend the period for another month or a month and a half.

2. Don't set global goals. The habit you want to strengthen is should be as simple as possible, monosyllabic . At the same time, train yourself to do daily cardio, eat healthy breakfasts, and remember 20 foreign words per day is an impossible task. But half an hour of stretching three times a week is quite possible.

3. For the first 30 days you must strictly adhere to a promise made to yourself. If you want to do yoga on Tuesdays at 8 a.m. for the rest of your life, you need to start on that day and time. In the first month, it is very advisable to do this in the same environment: in the living room, on a pink rug, in a black uniform.

4. Form a preliminary ritual- in psychology it is called a “trigger”. It can be the most absurd, for example, snapping your fingers five times before going to cook. It sounds strange, but in practice it helps to consolidate any habit.

5. Don't try to get used to what you hate. This is, of course, possible, but why? Your quality of life will definitely not improve. Therefore, choose to introduce into your daily routine exactly the type of fitness, diet or yoga direction that you at least theoretically like. If at seven in the morning you just want to die, don’t force yourself to become... Maybe later - now start with something more pleasant.

6. Create as many “reminders” as possible. Ask all your friends and family to ask every day when you will finally go for a walk (play sports, drink two liters of water). Set a dozen alarm clocks. Cover your entire living and work space with reminder sheets. At first it will be terribly annoying, but then it will leave you with no choice.

7.Reward yourself, especially at first. This is very important in order to develop a positive emotional connection with the new habit. At first, you are even allowed to eat a couple of squares of chocolate after each run.

8. Trumpet your achievements to the whole world. Tell everyone that you have been walking in the evenings for three days now, write about it in blogs. The approval of others is a great motivator. It is also important that the outside world begins to associate your new habit with you.

9. As soon as you think of a terribly important reason why you need to cancel a planned task, write down her. Do this regularly and over time you will realize that you have the same set of excuses and they are all insignificant.

10. If you want to replace one habit with another, remember: they must be equal. If you need to stop drinking thermonuclear espresso at the end of the working day, form a habit that will “charge your brain” in the same way. Replace the soothing buzz of the TV with meditation, and replace chocolate with...