A bad streak in life, what to do when everything is bad. What to do if everything is bad? Recommendations from psychologists

The idea for this article was created over the years thanks to my pessimistic friend, who, when asked: “How are you?”, always answered: “Everything is bad.” And so, I’ll tell you, every day for several years, almost from the moment we met. Maybe, of course, he doesn’t like being asked this question, but one way or another, after the answer there was a short story about the reasons why everything was bad. This can happen to anyone, although not every day. Especially when it’s always raining outside and you’re not a big fan of autumn.

What to do when everything is bad?

There are many reasons to think that everything is crap and fall into depressive state, it's your choice. Do you just need it? In any unclear situation, try not to make a big deal out of it. unsolvable problem. You just need to sort everything out and act, and not drink cocoa and marshmallows while admiring the rain. I'm not making anything up, I just experimented on cats.

1. General cleaning of thoughts

Everything again depends on you; if you think that everything is bad, then everything will be bad. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wrapping yourself in a blanket. Need to do general cleaning your thoughts, away with bad news and depressed friends. Thoughts, no matter how much you believe in them, are material. Just watch the chain reaction around you. It’s easy to ruin your own mood! But will you do better for yourself?

ZY: Don’t only think, but also talk about good things.

2. Play sports

If thoughts are intensifying and haunting you on a beautiful sunny evening, it’s time to distract yourself and get out of the four walls. Choose according to your taste what makes you relax - yoga or swimming in the pool or hard training. Overall, do something, don't be a lazy ass.

3. Speak up!

Stop keeping emotions and thoughts inside yourself, share them with the people around you. This is something called “dispelling restless thoughts”, what is it for? Just understand that you are not the only one who has experienced this, there are many of us and we need to share our experiences.

4. Find a new hobby

Again, depending on your interests, this could be horse riding or just a series of new experiences every day. Postcrossing - sending postcards - calmed me down strangers and their anxious anticipation in the mailbox.

5. Psychologist to help

Laugh with laughter, we don’t do that, and in general we are not Americans to go to psychologists. But if you have a real problem, a little conversation can help. One conversation was enough for me, where the psychologist simply listened and asked a question that I could not answer. But after thinking about everything, I realized that I knew the answer and changed something.

Lots of problems

Hello, dear blog readers. The topic of today's post is the fight against problems, depression, right attitude to life. Yes, of course, I did not become a psychologist or psychotherapist. Don't be alarmed.

I heard this information a few months ago at one of the youth business seminars. I will give a link to it at the end of this post, I highly recommend watching the material in full. There will be only a part in the article. The one that I have implemented and continue to use in my life.

By the way, I listened to this webinar at night, probably three hours. It was worth it. It's not just me who thinks so.

I saw and looked

Sergei Azimov touched a nerve and made you think about life, about relationships, about women... Okay, back to the topic of the post: what to do when you have a lot of problems.

Just a minute :)

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What to do when there are a lot of problems: the main secret

We need to stop here. And think about it. Think about how important these problems are to you. Most often, these are little things, small conflicts on which we spend, well, just a lot of our energy. These are banal everyday quarrels with relatives, work colleagues, Bad mood in the morning, arguing and defending your position.

Are these problems, their solutions, nerves and emotions an important part of our lives? No, not ours - YOUR LIFE.

As I listened to Asimov that night, I began to think. But really, we spend most of our time, most of our lives on these very trifles, trifles, sorting out relationships, we are always dissatisfied, always in a hurry to get somewhere.

Too many problems: solution

The solution to all problems lies in one simple thing. Understand their classification, analyze how important it is for you that this morning your foot was stepped on on the bus, you were detained wages for the day, the coffee was not as tasty as usual, the waiter was rude...

Traffic light problems

All problems, problems, situations in our life can be classified according to the traffic light principle and live in accordance with this principle.

Stop, slowly, re-read this classification several times. And pay attention special attention to the conclusion.

  1. Red problem . This is the death of relatives, friends, the departure of a person very close to you. Deadly, incurable disease when there is no chance.
  2. Yellow problem . This includes disability, a serious accident and physical injuries, but the person survived. Loss of business, divorce.
  3. Green problem . This is a job loss, a very difficult financial situation. My beloved girl/boyfriend left, betrayal.

Everything else is simple Should NOT bother you.

Agree, we think about our lives in difficult moments: the death of someone, a great loss, a difficult, seemingly hopeless situation. Then we understand how petty and insignificant everyday problems are.

This is how small, a little philosophical this post turned out to be. Hope it was helpful to you.

It happens that no matter where you look, everything is bad. You give up, you don’t want to do anything, your soul is sad and, as luck would have it, your friends don’t call, work is a mess, and the TV on TV is a complete nightmare.

Are there many reasons when a person can despair, give up and become depressed? If you find yourself in such a situation, then you urgently need psychological help. And first of all, you must accept it from yourself.

And I will help you do this. How to cope with depression and regain the joy of life. What to do when everything is bad? I hope that the following simple advice from a psychologist will help you overcome your problems and change your life for the better!

1. Don't hold back your emotions:

What to do when you feel bad? When did you most recently experience deep emotional distress? Give free rein to your feelings. Everyone does it differently. Some people cry on the shoulder of a close friend, while others throw a huge party to distract themselves. Do what you want (within the law, of course), and you will see that it will become easier.

2. Break the problem down:

Try to think about it objectively and impartially. Find out the reason and think about it possible ways solutions to the problem that can be done now. When everything is bad, you want to withdraw into yourself and grieve, but this is not a way out of the situation. To remain in this state for quite a long time means to register two new tenants in your house: depression and hopelessness. Strong people act while the weak sit and feel sorry for themselves. Be strong, call me and make an appointment with a psychologist and then you will get the true psychological assistance and support.

3. Despite the fact that the current situation brings nothing but grief, as it seems to your first PSYCHOLOGIST, still think about what it has taught you. It is problems that build character and make a person more experienced and wiser. Think about what exactly your problem taught you, what experience you learned from it.

Ecology of life. Psychology: My head became heavy, my thoughts hung in gray wool, a lump rolled up in my throat, tears froze in my eyes. There is no strength to speak or cry. I don’t have the strength to ask for help or call someone. This is the state - “totally bad.”

My head became heavy, my thoughts hung in gray wool, a lump rolled up in my throat, tears froze in my eyes. There is no strength to speak or cry. I don’t have the strength to ask for help or call someone.

This is the state - “totally bad.”

- What do you want now?
- I don’t want anything. I want everyone to leave me alone. It would be better if I never existed at all. To avoid this starting point of the report...
– This is global. What do you want very little for yourself now?
- ..... so that there is no noise around, ... so that everything calms down, and I am left completely alone ...
- What can you do for yourself now?

Finding an answer to the question “What can I do for myself now?” launches a program to overcome depression, despair and exhaustion.

I am not anyone else. Mobilization own strength, resource search.

I can - I definitely can. Finding a solution and selecting an action within your capabilities.

Do it – don’t just think about it, but do it. Movement towards specific actions and changes in the situation.

Now - at this moment, not sometime in the future, but already now. Making a decision and taking immediate action.

This action is usually very small, brings the person out from under the hood, and triggers the self-rescue mechanism.

What is the smallest thing I want for myself and what can I do for myself right now?
“I don’t want to see these walls, so that no one bothers me.”

I can leave here immediately by turning off my phone.
-I want it to be quiet and I was alone.

I can ask everyone to gather their remaining strength to get out of here and leave me alone for two hours.

As soon as an action occurs that responds to an urgent need, that’s it, the mechanism is launched.

At this exit stage, you should not try to analyze the situation. This is a pointless waste of resource. You now do not have the opportunity to objectively and adequately perceive what is coming.

While you are inside the problem, you will not be able to look at it from the outside.

Try to “turn off your head.” Throw out any thoughts that come, and try to remain in complete emptiness.

Mastering the technique of “thinking nothing,” the ability to stop the flow of your own thoughts, is not easy, but it is possible.

It will allow you to take a break from exhausting “crisis decisions” and searching for those to blame.

Be in this state at this stage for as long as you need to regain your strength and start breathing.

The first opportunity to analyze will come the next day. Even then, don't try to make long-term decisions.

You will be able to understand what really happened and how to do it differently next time no earlier than in a few days, and the more time passes, the more objective your view will be. “Big things are seen from a distance.”

This might interest you:

Therefore, you shouldn’t make furious decisions “under the hood”: “That’s it! I’m getting a divorce!” or write resignation letters. Perhaps it’s worth hanging up and you’ve grown out of this work a long time ago, but this can only be done with a “fresh head.” And it’s better to leave not “from”, but “to”.

When you jump with a parachute, the main thing is not to forget to pull the ring in time.
Remember, maybe someday this will save your life. published

In the modern, dynamic world, virtually everyone, even if you are a super positive person, experiences minor depressions. When everything seems to be a dead end. What to do when everything is bad? Nothing works out, nothing grows together anywhere and life turns, in general, into something incomprehensible. The pressing question arises: what to do when things don’t go well?

    The main rule, and the most important - don't panic, don't look for someone to blame. Sit down calmly and think about how it happened that everything ended this way and not otherwise. And is it over?



    Write down all your problems on a sheet of paper that interfere with your life and plunge you into depression. Think about which problems you can solve on your own, and what efforts you need to make. Anything on this list can be eliminated with someone's help. Well, you just need to accept something (the nasty weather, for example) and stop perceiving it as a problem.

    Learn to perceive the universe positively. Search positive aspects in everything that surrounds you or comes your way. Have you been hit by a car passing by at high speed while you were standing at the crossing? I could have shot it down. Therefore, be glad that you survived. Learn to see the positive and cheerful sides in every event. Remember, the circumstances that happen around you depend on your perception.

    Don't try to "drown" the problem with alcohol. Of course, it will become easier for the fragment, but the next morning you will have a hangover, and your wallet will not please you with the contents. Although... a little relaxation is okay. A glass of good wine before dinner never hurt anyone.

    Try, while you are coping with problems that you just need to wait out, do something useful, for example, sports. While this all resolves itself, you will put your body in order. And they waited, and the problems went away, and the figure was normal. Okay?

    Go to Volunteers. Human nature it is designed in such a way that it becomes easier for him when he sees that others have it worse than him. And no one has canceled the boomerang of good. Works. You will take your mind off your problems by solving other people's.

    Feel free to throw out your negativity. Break the dishes, swear, in the end. But under no circumstances should you nurse your pain, anger and hatred. This is absolutely impossible to do. Well, of course, don’t try to take your anger out on your loved ones. The release of negativity should be carried out in the air; do not direct anger at a specific object.

    Communicate. Communicate not only with friends, influential people at work, communicate for the soul. Contact the online community (an article on how to communicate on the Internet may be useful here) on a topic that interests you, go to church. Perhaps it is religion that can help you at this particular moment. Don't hesitate to ask for help.

    It’s not for nothing that they say that hope dies last. You don’t need to think that you are the only one with problems and no one else is suffering except you. Tomorrow always comes. After the night, dawn definitely comes. It doesn’t matter how long the night lasts, the main thing is that it will definitely end.

Related article: Why don't I have friends? The main reasons for lack of friendship.

What to do when things don't go well? Act. Water does not flow under a lying stone. If you sit with folded arms and loudly moan about your unhappy fate, nothing will go anywhere and nothing will get better on its own.

You'll have to lift the loin and start moving. Think with your head and work with your elbows. What makes you think that someone will come running and solve everything? Move your head, arms, legs, whatever you want. Just don’t hide in a shell and suffer alone.

But there are problems that only time and patience can help overcome. Tragedies involving the loss of loved ones can only be healed by time. You just need to learn to live again.

Everything is bad and I don’t want to live...

Let's try to look at examples of situations when it is not clear what to do when everything is bad.

For example: my husband left. Trouble? It’s a problem, but is it so critical that you should run and drown yourself because of it? Did you feel so good and comfortable with this person that life without him loses all meaning? Most likely, in fact it will turn out that it wasn’t all chocolate after all. And he didn’t lower the toilet seat behind him, and toothpaste he smeared it all over the sink and threw tea bags all over the table, and it all made you terribly angry and irritated. He earned little money and spent it on fishing rods and fishing lines. He also liked photos of strangers on social networks, and you had to think about whether he had a mistress or not. Was? Was. Enraged? It was annoying.

That's it, calm down. There is no more irritation, enjoy. There is now room for the prince, who will immediately throw tea bags into the trash, and immediately wipe away tea stains on the snow-white tabletop with a napkin. And he will ride a bike with you on weekends. And you will get a dog together, choosing the funniest puppy from all those offered. Otherwise, they would have been so angry for eternity with these bags, wiping the table.

Remember, the universe does not like emptiness. If a place is vacated by one, another will take it. “A holy place, it is never empty,” and you, clinging to the past, do not give way to the future. Know how to enjoy the moment.

Another example: dull work that does not bring pleasure. Drop her. There are so many possibilities now. Just look around. Look, the Internet is not just about entertainment.

If you feel comfortable working online while at home, then why force yourself to go to a dull office and communicate with people you don’t like. In order for something to change around you, you need to change inside. It all depends on you. This is your life and you have to live it. No one can force anyone to be happy.

If you want to be happy, be . The human age, in comparison with universal scales, is short. There is simply no time for suffering and despondency. There are so many interesting things around. And you prefer to stall in place, savoring your problems. For what?

Another problem: we quarreled with our relatives. So make peace. Call and make peace. The state of passion in which you shouted hurtful words at each other in your hearts has most likely passed. Everyone has already cooled down, including you. But be wiser, call and just find out how you are doing. Without returning to that last quarrel. This is not weakness, the first step, this is wisdom. But pride is a sin, and the most mortal. Why do you need sin? Moreover, such an uninteresting one.

When a person is depressed, even the smallest and most insignificant incidents seem like universal tragedies. Even a banal hole in tights can throw you off balance. There's no need to blow here soap bubbles, don’t make a mountain out of a mountain.

Never consider household little things a problem. These are just things, things created for your comfort. It's torn, if it's broken, throw it to hell if you can't fix it. Treat yourself to shopping, replace a damaged item with a new and sparkling one. Things exist for man, and not vice versa.

So in such a situation, just enjoy your trip to the supermarket or shopping mall. It will be great to just stop at a cafe or a movie on the way. Treat yourself to a day off with shopping and entertainment.

In fact, any problem can be solved. Many problems are not problems at all, it all depends on how you treat them. The longer you feel sorry for yourself and whine, the deeper the hole you drive yourself into. Forever, like the “Our Father,” it is worth remembering that all problems, both their presence and their absence, come from your head.

It is specifically your attitude to all problems, and directly your desire to deal with the circumstances that occur in your life path. This is YOUR life and only you can decide what it will be like, try to find harmony in your soul. Whether you like to suffer sadly alone, or whether you prefer to live positively and cheerfully surrounded by people who love you and whom you love, only you can decide.

So get ready, wipe your nose and move forward, just forward. Life goes on!