Some things in life cannot be fixed. This can only be experienced

Ecology of life: In order to understand what your life's work should be, you must first get to know yourself better...

Confucius said: “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” And life coach Barbara Sher wrote an entire book on how to determine your calling.

Barbara writes that as children, each of us was a genius. And the only thing that distinguishes each of us from Einstein and Mozart is that they had favorable conditions for the development of talent, while we did not. But it's never too late to fix everything.

In order to understand what your life's work should be, you must first get to know yourself better.

Here are some exercises to help you do this.

1. Remember what you dreamed of as a child

Remember yourself as a child: what did you do, what did you play and what did you dream about? What particularly attracted and fascinated you? What fantasies have you never told anyone about? Which sense - sight, smell or touch - gave you the most vivid impressions?

And the main question: What talent do these childhood hobbies indicate?

2. Think about what you could become in an ideal environment.

Imagine that any of your talents and abilities would be encouraged from childhood, all conditions would be created for their development and they would allow you to do whatever you want, not reproaching, but consoling and supporting. What would you become? What would you do? What would you achieve?

Think about it without holding back, let your ideas be the most fantastic and daring. All rules, conventions and restrictions are canceled!

3. Choose a color and describe it

What color do you like? It doesn't have to be your favorite. Look for a color you like in magazine illustrations or pictures on the Internet. Now imagine that you are this color. Describe it on a piece of paper. For example, “I am blue...”. What is he like? Calm or passionate? Brave or cautious?

Of course, the color is you. It’s just that this exercise allowed you to be more open than usual, because it’s quite difficult to say about yourself: “I’m wonderful!” Now look at how many strong qualities you have listed. And they are all yours. This means you can use them.

4. Describe your 20 favorite things to do

Write a list of 20 things that you truly love. These can be any activities, even those that seem banal to you. Is there any ice cream? Great! Go shopping? Amazing!

Then make a table: on the left write the activities themselves, and on the right - the answers to the questions:

When was the last time I did this?
Does this happen spontaneously or planned?
Is this work related?
Is it free or for money?
Alone or with someone?
Is there any health risk?
Is this activity slow or fast?
Is it related to the body, soul or mind?

Now look for patterns. You are sure to learn something new about yourself and the life you want to live.

5. Imagine your ideal day

Describe on paper your typical day in the life of your dreams. Live it in detail. What do you do? Who are you with? What happens, where and when? Imagine that you are not limited in funds, strength, or skills. That you are absolutely free.

And then answer the questions:

What specific things from the description cannot be replaced by anything?
What is not necessary, but would really like to have?
What would be nice to have but you can do without?
What would change if you edited your ideal day to include only the essentials?
What components of a perfect day do you already have?
What's missing?

And most importantly:

What separates your reality from your ideal day? What needs to be done to get the missing elements? What difficulties and obstacles are preventing you from getting them right now?

6. Describe the problems that bother you

Take a piece of paper and list the reasons why you cannot achieve your dreams. Specific list of real problems- a good building material for the road that leads to your goal. Once you describe them, they turn from a mountain of insurmountable obstacles into a series of problems that need to be solved.

7. Check, are your dreams really yours?

Before you start pursuing your goal, Barbara recommends checking to see if your dream is true. Imagine that you have already achieved what you wanted. Feel it to the smallest detail. Parents might be proud, but are you happy? Are you standing on the top of Everest, but you feel not joy, but only an icy piercing cold? Or are you sitting at the presidential table, longingly thinking about what pile of documents you need to sign?

If you suddenly realize that you were wrong and don’t want to achieve this goal at all, just... change it.

8. Define your goal

You cannot build a bridge to the cloud. To prevent a dream from becoming a mirage, we must turn it into a goal. There are two rules:

1. The goal is specific. These are not feelings, but facts. For example, “becoming a doctor” is a dream. And “getting a doctor’s degree” is the goal.

2. The goal must have term.

Yes, there is no magic wand, but you just have to replace the statement “I will never succeed” with a question "How can I do this?", you yourself will become a wizard. You'll see! published . If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project .

Identify the problems. It is important to have a clear understanding of the existing problems. Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down five things you don't like about your life. Perhaps you don't like your job, school, have no expectations (lack of purpose), or the relationship has reached a dead end. Whatever it is, define it. This is the first step to a new life.

Come up with some ideas that will help solve your problems. At first, you can do this yourself. Your ideas don't have to be realistic - if you're bored, you could write "move to Antarctica" or something like that. The more ideas you come up with, the faster you will find a way to solve problems. Let your imagination run wild. If you find it difficult to get started, ask one or more friends or family members to help you find solutions that can change everything for the better.

Take action! Fix the problems. Take constructive action towards them now. Don't put it off and don't say you'll start tomorrow. You have to do this Now. The best time to start is today.

Write a list of ten things you love most. Not necessarily material things, it could be rain, winter, a hot shower, a person or an animal. Just write them down, but think carefully as you can only choose ten.

Take a proactive stance. Don't wait for something to happen, but do it yourself do so that it happens. Now that you have identified what makes you unhappy, you can do those things that make you happy. Of course, you cannot influence the weather or the seasons, you can only wait, but it is up to you whether you want to have a cup of coffee or visit your aunt. What are you waiting for?

Change your appearance. Do you like the way you look? Perhaps not, but not like that should be! Have you always wanted to have straight, short and brown hair? What prevents you from making them like this? Girls: buy some quality cosmetics: mascara, blush, lip gloss, foundation, eyeliner. Don't buy dark and gloomy colors, a fresh look is what you need.

Guys: get a haircut. Shave. Take extra time for personal hygiene.
Guys and girls: if you want something spectacular, buy colored contact lenses. They can visually enlarge the face and add sparkle to the eyes. Also, make a list of clothes you've always wanted and then go out and buy them: a new bag, new shoes, smart pants, a cute top, a diamond bracelet, red Converse or something like that! You don't have to follow a certain style or fashion trend. But if you like it, go for it.
- It's time to try something new. By receiving compliments on the way you look, you will gain confidence in yourself and become convinced that what you picture in your imagination can be a beautiful reality. Your self-confidence will be visible to everyone, and you will feel amazing.

Expand your horizons. There are so many people in the world who don't know you and could potentially be great friends; all you have to do is get moving. It's as simple as talking about something with a stranger. A good way to show people that they matter to you is to listen to them. Listen actively, ask questions and try to paraphrase what was said so they know you heard them. Join a club, find a new hobby, be friendlier at school. The most important thing is to show yourself in the best light and actually sincerely want to be friends with different people.

Reconsider your attitude towards life. If you wake up every morning thinking that your life is a failure, then you will believe it yourself. If you're really tired of something, find the positive in it. An example like “I don’t hate school” is not appropriate. “School will help me succeed” is much better. Quietly hum these lines until you sincerely believe it. 99% of the time, look on the bright side of things, you waste your time and life worrying about things that haven't even happened yet, constantly worrying about the "what ifs". Since you have gotten rid of some of the things that made you unhappy, a positive attitude towards life will be your norm. Always smile!

Stay healthy. If you are not feeling well, then it will be difficult for you to enjoy life. It has been said that eight hours of sleep, plenty of water, healthy food and at least half an hour of daily exercise can have extraordinary benefits for anyone. If you feel sluggish, take vitamins. If you want a hamburger, have a sandwich instead. It's just as delicious without all the extra fat that clogs your body. And also stop smoking and drinking alcohol - at least, do it in moderation. You don't need drugs to have fun.

Every normal and wise person would like to make himself a little happier and more successful. But not everyone understands and realizes that some mistakes in some cases help a person become better, understand what they are doing wrong and start correcting it, becoming even better, then you need to think whether it is worth correcting mistakes in life or, first extract valuable experience and knowledge from them. But some errors really need to be corrected and gotten rid of, but not everyone understands how to do this. Therefore, today we will analyze with you the most effective and reliable methods to correct your mistakes in life , as well as gain valuable experience and knowledge from it.

First what do you need to correct your mistakes in life , this is to determine what errors you have. After all, you can simply take and write down all your mistakes that you yourself find in your life on a piece of paper, which will help you correct mistakes in life much easier, since you understand and know what needs to be corrected. Take a little break from your affairs and think about what is going wrong in your life, and write down absolutely all the mistakes that you find on a piece of paper, this will help you simplify the task twice and correct the mistakes in life. Also, in order to correct mistakes in life, you need to create a sufficiently strong and reliable motivation. Just create in your thoughts the picture of the life that you want to see in real life, and you will understand and realize that you will need to do everything necessary to achieve this dream. Also, always set yourself new goals and fulfill them, training and improving yourself, which also helps you correct mistakes in life and become successful.

Failure

As you know, failure is the main reason for the appearance of various mistakes in life. Therefore, if you want to correct mistakes in life and reduce them to a lot less, then you first need to know how to get rid of failure and take action. Create for yourself the consciousness of only a successful and happy person, and then you yourself will notice how failure will gradually leave your life, and it will be replaced only by a happy and successful life, which you can begin to build today. Correcting mistakes in life will be much easier with a positive attitude than with a negative attitude. As you know, mistakes are and will always be in your life when you strive to know and learn more in life. They even help to some extent achieve your goals, but only weak people do not understand this and give up on the path to happiness and their dreams precisely because of the large number of mistakes and failures.

Consciousness and subconsciousness

As is known and proven by many scientists and psychologists, it is our consciousness and subconscious that creates our reality. So why don't we start taking advantage of this incredible opportunity to not only correct your mistakes in life, but also to create for yourself a world in which you will be truly successful and happy people, achieving everything you yourself want. But if you let your consciousness and subconscious float freely, and do not control them, then this can only have a negative impact on yourself. Then big failures, problems, difficulties and mistakes in life will begin to appear. You need to start training and controlling your consciousness and subconscious in such a way that your thoughts and dreams are only with a positive attitude, and then there will be much fewer problems and failures. And after some time of control, the conscious and subconscious mind will create your life correctly and correcting mistakes in life, no matter how difficult they may be, will become much easier.

Start fixing mistakes

The most reliable and proven way to fix your errors in life, it's just to take them and start correcting them. After all, without real action and practice, it will be impossible to do absolutely nothing, and your mistakes, as they were, will remain, replenished with even more. And the sooner you start correcting your mistakes, the better you can protect yourself from big problems associated with these errors. Create a good habit in your life of correcting all mistakes and problems as soon as they appear, this will not only make you happy, but you will also save an incredible amount of time and effort.

Success

It has long been noted that it was precisely those people who achieved success who could quickly and easily correct mistakes in life, and move further on the path to happiness and success. To do this, you just need to know how to start achieving success, and do everything necessary for this, putting all the time and effort only into this work, which will bring you success. And correcting mistakes in life that constantly exist will not be so difficult when you are already a successful person.

That's all what we were going to tell you about how to correct mistakes in life. By applying all the methods and tips given in our article in practice, you will incredibly quickly learn and understand not only how to correct mistakes in life, but also be able to start taking action to achieve your goals and success in life, building life the way you want it see in your imagination.

Life! It brings us so many interesting moments. We sometimes think about how quickly time flies, but few people think about such things, for example, how valuable every minute and second that flies by instantly. I will begin my story with an aphorism from the wonderful Polish teacher Janusz Korczak, and it goes like this: “Respect the current hour and today!.. Respect every single minute, for it will die and will never happen again...”.

Mistakes in life

Everyone makes mistakes in life, but you need to find strength so as not to despair and not lose heart. It is necessary to learn a lesson for yourself from each situation and look for ways to correct it, if... Sometimes we are upset at first, but then time passes, and we think “Oh, everything that is not done is all for the better.” But at the same time, this should not be attributed to everything. There are people who think that whatever they do, everything will be right.

Every person makes mistakes in life, the most important thing is to be able to admit your mistakes and wrongness. The one who finds the strength in himself and admits this will be many times more reasonable than the one who still cannot repent, admitting that he is wrong.

“The greatest glory is not in never failing, but in being able to rise every time you fall.” Confucius

Advice:be able to admit your mistakes and learn a lesson from every mistake you make - see what life teaches you.

Conclusion: a mistake does not mean that you should give up; you need to look at the situation objectively, admit that you are wrong, try to find a way out of this situation and improve the situation for the better. If you see that someone is wrong, you should not reproach him for this, you need to calmly discuss this point with him and try to come to a compromise solution. It is necessary to become moderately lenient towards yourself; sometimes it is better to forgive yourself for some mistakes in life, trying not to repeat them again, instead of reproaching yourself throughout your life for what you have done.

Bad habits

There are so many people now who suffer from bad habits, but who do not want to fight them. Some people enjoy them, others are already tired of them - but they don’t have the strength to quit them. Many sources today say that smoking, drinking alcohol and drugs are harmful to our health. A person who has, suffers not only from the fact that his health deteriorates from this, but also from the fact that he is not fully happy with his life.

After all, why do people start smoking or drinking alcohol? In order to get happiness, and this type of happiness is temporary, and it must be maintained all the time. And is he happy because he constantly depends on something? No! Happiness must come from within, from the state of the soul of the person himself. Therefore, it is necessary to follow a different path to obtaining happiness and not be dependent on those substances that ultimately ruin our lives, but, unfortunately, life teaches nothing to many.

Advice:find another source of happiness, don’t be dependent on bad habits and you will become much happier!

Conclusion: if you still decide to be happy and successful in life, not to be dependent, and to have a source of happiness in yourself, and not look for it in bad habits, then lead a healthy lifestyle, move towards your goals and you will achieve positive results and true happiness.

Laziness

Sometimes a person is overcome by laziness, he cannot find the strength to complete this or that task. Or maybe, after all, he has no desire or desire for this? Yes, it's worth thinking about. After all, when a person has a goal in life or favorite activities, they give enthusiasm and inspiration to go through life, in turn delivering a lot of positive emotions. Laziness also prevents you from changing your life and correcting mistakes that you have encountered along your life’s path.

“You spend your whole life saying that you are limited. Parents, teachers, the state, but the only thing that limits you is your laziness.” — Unknown author —

Advice:you need to interest yourself in some business that would benefit not only you, but also the people around you.

How wonderful it is when a person is full of enthusiasm, he has many ideas that he wants to implement to achieve a certain goal. And he moves towards her, going through difficult and happy moments, there are obstacles on his way, but he does not stop moving in that direction, does not leave his goal. A person, having achieved his goal, begins to indulge in the memories of all those moments and difficulties that he encountered along the way and with which he coped. A person is overcome by a feeling of joy and success. Although there were moments of loss and gain along the way, this only gave him more strength to correct himself, and through his own labor he achieved success in his business. And the most important thing is that any business you undertake benefits not only you, but also those around you!

Conclusion: In order to do this, you need motivation, so don’t waste those minutes that go by in vain in your life, value time and try to find the strength to get things done.

How to correct mistakes in life

Sometimes it is enough to realize your mistakes in order to form a firm conviction about how to do the right thing and how not to do it, in order to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. To correct mistakes in life, you need to start changing something in your life, start with at least simple things, it all starts with little things.

Keep a daily routine
Keep a short list of things that need to be done
Start planning your day more effectively
and try to make good use of it
Do something you enjoy
Communicate with friends and relatives, maintain good relationships with them
Go towards your goal, despite the obstacles that come your way
Replace bad habits with something more valuable to you, find yourself in some activity that would bring you much more happiness than this
Be yourself and don’t try to imitate others, develop as a full-fledged personality and find yourself in this world
Constantly develop and do not stand in one place
Appreciate and respect all those who surround you!

So what life teaches is that the key to happy relationships and life in general is that it is necessary to treat everything that surrounds us with gratitude, because without this, few people know how your fate would have turned out. Treasure those people who are next to you, appreciate and take care of them, try to establish harmonious relationships with them and believe that everything in our lives is possible. To correct mistakes in life, you just need to want it and start moving through life in this direction!

I listen to a psychotherapist friend of mine talk about his patient. A woman was in a terrible accident, she is in constant pain and her limbs are paralyzed. I've heard this story ten times already, but one thing always shocks me. He told the poor woman that the tragedy had led to positive changes in her life.

“Everything in life happens for a reason,” these are his words. It amazes me how deeply ingrained this platitude is, even among psychotherapists. These words hurt and hurt cruelly. He wants to say that the incident forces the woman to grow spiritually. And I think this is complete nonsense. The accident broke her life and destroyed her dreams - that's what happened and there is absolutely nothing good about it.

Most importantly, this mindset prevents us from doing the only thing we should do when we are in trouble: grieve. My teacher Megan Devine says it well: “Some things in life cannot be fixed. This can only be experienced."

We grieve not only when someone close to us dies. We indulge in sadness when loved ones pass away, when hopes are dashed, when a serious illness strikes. The loss of a child and the betrayal of a loved one cannot be corrected - it can only be experienced.

If you are in trouble and someone tells you the following well-worn phrases: “everything that doesn’t happen is for the best”, “this will make you better and stronger”, “it was predestined”, “nothing happens for nothing”, “you need to take responsibility for your life”, “everything will be fine” - you can safely cross this person out of your life.

When we say things like this to our friends and family, even with the best of intentions, we are denying them the right to mourn, be sad, and be sad. I myself have experienced a huge loss, and I am haunted every day by the guilt that I am still alive, but my loved ones are no longer alive. My pain didn't go away, I just learned how to channel it through working with patients and understand them better.

But under no circumstances would it have occurred to me to say that this tragedy was a gift of fate that helped me grow spiritually and professionally. To say this is to trample on the memory of loved ones whom I lost too early, and those who faced a similar misfortune, but could not cope with it. And I'm not going to pretend that it was easy for me because I'm strong, or that I became "successful" because I was able to "take charge of my life."

Modern culture treats grief as a problem to be fixed, or as a disease to be cured. We do everything to drown out, repress our pain or somehow transform it. And when you suddenly face misfortune, the people around you turn into walking platitudes.

So what should you say to friends and family who are in trouble, instead of “everything in life is not accidental”? The last thing a person crushed by misfortune needs is advice or guidance. The most important thing is understanding.

Literally say the following: “I know you’re hurting. I'm here with you."

This means that you are willing to be there and suffer with your loved one - and this is incredibly powerful support.

There is nothing more important for people than understanding. It does not require any special skills or training, it is simply a willingness to be nearby and stay nearby as long as necessary.

Stay close. Just be there, even when you feel uncomfortable or feel like you're not doing anything useful. In fact, it is precisely when you are uncomfortable that you should make an effort to stay close.

“I know you're hurting. I'm close."

We so rarely allow ourselves to enter this gray zone - the zone of horror and pain - but this is where the roots of our healing lie. It begins when there are people who are ready to go there with us.