A former married lover began to call. How to understand whether he wants to return to the relationship if HE was the initiator of the breakup

He's taking advantage of you. For you, this could take many years. It will be like a boat swaying from one shore to another. It’s just that the other side is luckier - she has children and the status of a wife, and what’s left for you is lonely weekends and wasted youth (I understand at 19 - this is not an argument)
and also, DEVELOP YOUR DOUBT, ADULT UNCLES ARE NOT FRIENDS WITH THE GIRLS THEY HAVE HAD SEX WITH - THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN. AND IN GENERAL THERE IS NO FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN

And you are apparently not a very “excellent lover,” if. he no longer persuades you to have sex. Of course, you can try your best to prove the opposite, but this is a fact.
And also, what does it mean “he was walking around in a basement.” Please enlighten me, I can’t sleep now((

What happened? Did you have sex twice? Yes, this is an event!!

God knows what he wants! He wants to be white, because it’s getting close to the 40th anniversary.

YES-YES-YES, “find someone else, but I’m not an option, he’s a good suitor.” - dear - this is how he relieves himself of responsibility, saying that it’s not me who is ruining the girl’s life, but she herself decided so, she’s dragging after me, despite the fact that she has a choice.
Yes, he’s essentially right

Author, aren’t you afraid that his wife could seriously harm you? When I was about 17 years old, a tragedy occurred in our neighborhood that made many potential lovers think. Personally, I ended my relationship with a married man much later. remembering this particular story.
The wife disfigured her mistress and made her disabled. She sat down for about 6 years, but that’s not the point. By the way, there were also long-term relationships there. The man would go to his mistress and then return to his wife.
Why would you, so young, ruin your life with a married man? Women lovers under 40 and over 40 can still be understood, at least to some extent. They have nothing to lose, but at 19 years old! You still have everything ahead, why do you need this dirt!

Source:
Ex-married lover started calling
I'm 19, he's 37. He has a wife and two children. I want to say right away that I did not want to take him away from the family. I fell in love with him and meeting him was enough for me, not living together. We communicated with him for six months, in the end it turned into a close relationship. Sex
http://www.woman.ru/relations/men/thread/4443460/

Meetings of former lovers

Meetings of former lovers evoke their own special emotions for each representative of the fair sex. And in many cases, it is almost impossible to change the essence of these emotions. In the period after a woman breaks up with a representative of the stronger sex, she can behave extremely unpredictably; by the way, she is not able to explain this behavior even to herself.

Some women manage to maintain good and even, one might say, friendly relations with their ex-lover without any difficulties, but there are types of women who, over all the years spent together, tend to harbor in the depths of their souls a huge resentment and hostility towards their ex-lover. It is for this very reason that finding the final answer to the question of how to behave with a former lover and whether it is worth agreeing to meet with him is very difficult. Let's try to figure out this delicate issue together using examples of the most common life situations.

If a lover is friends with his ex-lover

The essence of meetings with an ex-lover/mistress

If ex-lovers are ex-spouses

In such a situation, it is very difficult to maintain normal relations between each other, especially for representatives of the fairer sex. Here, former lovers used to be united not only by sex, but also by many other aspects of life. Of course, not everyone manages to be friends with their ex-husband, but you still shouldn’t be enemies either.

But no matter what people say, life very often brings former spouses into conflict a certain time after a breakup. Most often, such meetings take place at a “business level” and are due to a warm atmosphere (unless, of course, the spouses have nothing left to share) and leave a pleasant impression.

If there is a current spouse

This situation is very common in modern society. Its essence lies in the fact that a woman, while married, continues to meet with her ex-man. Of course, such meetings may not always have a sexual basis, but rather emotional attraction, but telling your spouse about this or giving everything away with the help of your emotions is still not worth it. Therefore, if this happens, you should not tell your spouse long stories about how your ex-lover lives now and everything that concerns him. And even more so, you shouldn’t look for a reason to introduce two men to each other, even if these are purely friendly and rare meetings.

Another day in the life of former lovers

According to most psychologists, if former lovers remained friends and not enemies, then in many cases such meetings end in sex (even if not at the first meeting, but it happens). But after a passionate night, a woman often begins to be tormented by doubts and questions. Therefore, if a lady wants to continue these meetings with her ex-lover, it is very important not to succumb to temptation and not start sorting things out or once again teasing the past. After all, such attempts to convince a man that he is wrong and everything connected with it will simply make this meeting the last and friendship impossible. And lastly, if you doubt the need for these meetings, you better refuse them and move on with your life!

Source:
Meetings of former lovers
How to cope with emotions when meeting an ex-lover
http://www.allwomens.ru/15488-vstrechi-byvshih-lyubovnikov.html

How to get your lover back

“I am happy because I am a woman! " These are the words of Marilyn Monroe, in which lies the essence of a woman, her mystery, the unpredictability of thought and much more that we can only guess about. In fact, a woman can only be happy when she feels that she is needed by her loved one.

Only then do her invisible angel wings open, the smile on her face never fades, and joy sparkles in her eyes. A woman knows: no matter what happens, there is a loved one next to her, who will lend his strong shoulder at the right moment, whisper “beloved” in her ear, caress and console her.

“I want to be happy” - this is the goal of every woman. But, alas, life is an insidious thing, and at any moment meanness, betrayal, slander, betrayal can fit into it. Be that as it may, even relationships that are quite strong and happy at first glance sometimes break at once.

At this moment, everything turns upside down, the world no longer seems so “pink,” you don’t want to look your friends in the eyes, and you withdraw into yourself.

In fact, you are driven by resentment, which you will need to deal with on your own. After all, life goes on and there is much more to come. Some start new relationships, others seriously think about their career, begin to take care of themselves more than ever, in order to prove that I was the one without whom your life would turn into complete hell.

But it often happens that a woman begins to think about the question: “how to get her lover back?” “After all, life without him has become empty and uninteresting. And, if the whole day is filled with work, then in the evening, when there is free time to think, willy-nilly, memories of those days when you were together emerge.

And then the obsessive “I want to return him, my lover” does not leave your thoughts. Is it possible to get your man back so you can be happy again? Psychology has its own assumptions on this matter, which I would like to introduce you to and suggest how you can get your lover back.

In fact, you can return your loved one, but only on the condition that you do everything right. You shouldn’t run after him, beg and beg. The first thing you need to do is to calm down well. Try to correctly understand why your lover left you and how to get him back now. What is the reason for your breakup and who is to blame for this - you or him?

At the same time, there is no need to blame yourself - it relaxes you and encourages you to behave incorrectly:

In general, relationships without obligations, including with a married partner, have their advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, you won’t have any “squabbles” on the topic: “who is this man you were talking to”, “where were you”, “why didn’t you come home on time”, but the big disadvantage of such a relationship is that your relationship can break off at any moment.

And even if nothing preceded this. Do you really have the right to demand an explanation for such an act from a married man? After all, he has a family, and there can be a lot of reasons for breaking off relations with his mistress. Therefore, you can only try to get your lover back from his own wife if you go back to the starting point.

Do you remember the first minutes of your acquaintance and what attracted you to each other? If you manage to recreate all the circumstances of your acquaintance with him, then it is possible that your relationship may resume again. Remember, male behavior is quite predictable.

If you feel that your relationship is slowly breaking down, you are starting to meet less and less often, he no longer calls as often as he did before, while he remains a valuable person for you, then you should think about a time-out in the relationship. Let go of the situation, while keeping everything under remote control. How long will it last you - a week, two, a month?

Don't write or call first. And if he doesn’t call you himself during this period, then it may be better to leave everything as it is, so as not to spoil the picture you drew. Maybe everything is not so scary, and when he misses you, he himself will invite you to meet.

Analyze your behavior during the time you were together. Maybe you broke up because he no longer received what you gave him before. And this isn't about sex. As a rule, a mistress is taken so that the soul can have a good rest. Remember your first meetings - you felt good together, you could talk for hours and were not bound by any obligations.

But if your behavior towards him has changed, and you have already allowed yourself to demand a lot from him, to reproach him for something, then why are you better than his wife? Does he lack commitment? You need to understand that your lover is not your property, therefore, when thinking about how to get your married lover back, you need to understand: in order to get your old relationship back, you need to return the pleasant ease of communication to it.

Psychologists are inclined to think that suddenly ended relationships can perfectly stimulate self-development. So why don't you take advantage of the current situation. Transform yourself.

Make him feel bad for breaking up with you. As soon as you put everything in your life on the right shelves, then there will also be a place for a man in your life, and he will definitely try to fill it.

Then it’s up to you to decide - to return the relationship to the man who abandoned you, or just remain friends, and start a new relationship yourself, with a new person and become happy again. The only one for whom a man will do everything in the world, just so that she is with him. Good luck to you dear women!

Hello! I am very glad that I found such a site... that there is an opportunity to consult with you and understand something for myself. I have a question that I wanted to consult with you about. You answered me once and hit the nail on the head. I dated a man until recently. We were with him for 4 years. All 4 years I was with him, we had a relationship as a guest option, since he was married and had a sick wife who had cancer. She died in January. All these years he told me that you will never hear the word no and that you and I, when the time comes, will live together. As a result, we don't live together. In May, I left and said that I couldn’t do this anymore. You give words, and then you take them away. He is the kind of person for whom it is important that everyone thinks well of him, in order to please everyone, and the fact that he hurts his family is the least of his worries. After a while, when we broke up, I found out purely by chance that, it turns out, he was dating someone else at the same time. We work together, and he started another affair right there before my eyes. I told him that you have no conscience. The men who knew about us secretly called him a prostitute based on his behavior. In short, he blames it on me that I am jealous of him, that I reproach him all the time, and so on and so forth. And I simply told him: learn to appreciate and respect people who want to be with you and care about you. He is 52 years old. As I already wrote to you, I was married 2 times and buried them. You also answered that he is a strong energy vampire. And that's right. Tell me how to behave... since he definitely won’t quit in the near future... I told him that I wish you that no one would ever hurt you as much as you did to me. And wished him all the best. Your consultation is important to me, as you always get to the point. Thank you, I'll be looking forward to your answer. God bless you.

Yulia, Moscow, 32 years old

Psychologist's answer:

Hello, Yulia.

He cannot be with you, you were involuntarily joined to the period of loss, the death of your wife. If he stayed with you then, he would not be able to cope with the feeling of guilt and loss. Of course, outwardly it looks extremely mean towards you, but this is his rehabilitation task - the new partner must be kept at a distance, be parallel, and only this allows him to then feed on him, and not experience hostility or cooling. You need to adequately process what happened, otherwise it risks remaining your unfinished trauma, which will interfere in the future. Consider contacting a psychologist individually in person or in absentia (Skype).

Sincerely, Lipkina Arina Yurievna.

It is very difficult to find out that your spouse has cheated on you. But it’s even harder to understand that he works together with his mistress - after all, this means that they will continue to see each other regularly!

If you both decide to start working on repairing your relationship, this becomes a serious obstacle and adds fuel to the fire that is still burning in your marriage. It is clear to both that the first step to healing is to stop contact with your mistress (lover). But under these conditions this is impossible. How can this be?

1. Honestly consider changing jobs (yours or your lover's).

Consider what opportunities there are to leave this company or this department, what opportunities there are to find a new company or transfer to another department in another building or another city. Do you, as a manager, have the opportunity to transfer your ex-lover to another department or negotiate her transfer to another job on decent terms? Or agree on the dismissal of your mistress at your own request with payment of compensation?

As a rule, when a psychologist asks couples to think in this direction, most clients initially answer unequivocally that this is impossible. At the same time, as a rule, people who turn to a psychologist are residents of large cities; most of our clients are highly qualified specialists in their field. That’s why the first unequivocal reaction sounds somewhat paradoxical: is there really no other position in the whole city where their talents and skills could be in demand? Of course, there are objective difficulties associated with dismissal: loss of work experience in one company, an established team, etc. However, understanding that the world has not converged as a “wedge” on one company greatly increases the effectiveness of work to restore trust in a couple.

Are there any other options?

1. Stop fighting with each other, become a single team that together reflects external temptations.

If you want to heal your marriage and your spouse is working with his ex-lover, it is important that you stop treating each other as enemies. See each other as allies with a common goal. “There are you and me, but there is the world around us.” Use the pronoun “we” more often. “We both want to heal our marriage. We both want to make our marriage safe and restore the trust we once had."

According to the experience of consultations, the deceived spouse was always greatly impressed by the phrase spoken out loud: “Honey, I want you to know that you are much more important to me than work.” Sometimes after these words the husband added: “Of course, I’m scared. I don't know when I will be able to find a similar job. I'm worried about how leaving my job will affect our financial well-being. But I, just like you, with all my heart wish for the end of the relationship on the side. If you decide that it will be better, calmer, I will quit.” In many cases these words were spoken quite sincerely.

Such a phrase often produces a powerful effect. In some cases, it was enough. A betrayed spouse may not want the cheating spouse to leave their job because it will affect their overall finances. But for the injured spouse to know that their spouse ready Quitting your job at their word is extremely important. This adds warmth to the relationship.

In other cases, the cheating spouse actually took this radical measure and quit the job where their lover was. Such couples significantly accelerated the work of healing the relationship. Experience shows that, as a rule, they eventually found a new job. Not always, but sometimes even more paid than the previous one.

1. It's important to see that you have a choice.

If you both agree that it is better for your spouse to stay in the same job, you need to be patient. His ability to manage his feelings will gradually increase, but stability will not come immediately. It is fundamentally important that the cheating spouse understands that he has a choice: to go with his ex-lover to lunch during the break or not. To appear in a common “smoking room”, where there is a chance to meet a former lover, or not. It is important that he resists temptations not “to please” his wife, but following his own inner decision to remain faithful and work on the relationship in marriage. Otherwise, very soon the “teenage” pattern will work: I will allow myself to “be silly” a little while “mom” is not looking.

If you choose to stay at your current job, you cannot change the layout of offices or staircases, change job descriptions, or cancel meetings, but you can change your attitude to occasional meetings at work with his former lover - and this will transform the situation.

1. Inform your boss about the situation.

This move has helped many couples. Cheating spouses are usually afraid to tell their managers about the betrayal that occurred. They think it will negatively affect their reputation or even fear that they will be fired. However, most often the opposite happens. A person, by his behavior, sets an example of determination and honesty. A manager may have the authority to transfer his subordinate’s ex-lover to another building, to an office on another floor, or sometimes to another part of the work team in order to minimize the likelihood of former lovers meeting at work.

1. Conduct a brainstorming session together to collect ideas on how to maintain a feeling of safety and reliability in the heart of the injured partner.

For example, these ideas could be:

1. The cheating spouse can put a photo of their husband/wife (or a family photo) on their desk in the office.
2. An unfaithful spouse may call his husband/wife several times during the workday from an office landline number to confirm his love and to enable his spouse to verify his whereabouts.
3. The cheating spouse may occasionally invite their spouse to go to a business lunch together in the middle of the work day.
4. He can also invite his wife to some informal event at work, where the presence of relatives of employees is allowed. At such events, you can try to give your spouse special attention, show with your eyes and gestures the degree of importance of your spouse in your life (hug, hold hands, etc.).
5. Avoid situations where the cheating spouse is alone with his ex-lover in any room at work behind closed doors.
6. Discuss on your own or with the help of an intermediary (psychologist) what boundaries and rules you will adhere to when communicating with the opposite sex. It is important that there is general agreement on this issue. Maybe you decide for a while not to say goodbye to friends of the opposite sex in the form of a kiss on the cheek, but limit yourself to a smile and words of farewell.

6. It is important not to create an awkward secret. If you met your ex-lover at work, it is better to tell your spouse about it.

Your goal is not only to create an atmosphere of safety and trust for your spouse, but also to help him (her) regain his (her) self-esteem. If the injured spouse sees that he is included in the team, shared with, and discussed difficulties that arise, it is easier for him to feel safe and loved.

There was love, there was passion, there was intimacy, but it didn’t work out... You broke up, but you still continue to see each other every day. Because you work together. How to behave in such a situation? Pretending that nothing ever happened between you and your co-worker? Avoid contact with your ex? Or maybe quit altogether? Recommendations are given by psychologist Elena Godina.

“All people are different, and so are situations,” says the specialist. - Some will take the breakup of the relationship completely calmly, while others will find it difficult to even look at their ex-lover. Then, there are situations when they broke up, so to speak, “by agreement of the parties,” and sometimes one of the two cannot come to terms with the fact that he was abandoned. It is clear that in each case the recommendations will be individual.

If you “broke up” by mutual agreement and continue to work together, then the most logical thing to do would be to maintain good and even friendly relations with your former friend, says Elena Godina.

You are both adults and should understand that anything can happen. Yes, as partners in your personal life, you were not suitable for each other, and from now on everyone went their own way. But you may well succeed as friends and colleagues. You must admit that your relationship has simply moved to another level. You can still turn to each other for help and support - within the framework of work and friendship.

If one of you is the boss and the other is a subordinate, then the situation, of course, can become more complicated, the psychologist believes. The close relationship between a manager and a subordinate makes life difficult in itself. What if they have already ended? Should you adhere to a highly formal communication style? Or is it better to think about changing jobs?

According to Elena Godina, in the presence of other employees, it is best to maintain subordination if familiar relations are not generally accepted in your company. In private, you can continue to call each other by “you” and by name, but it is advisable not to mention what happened between you. This way you will avoid unnecessary negative emotions.

But it’s one thing if you simply don’t get along, and another thing if the novel left a lot of negativity. Let’s say the man you had high hopes for turned out to be a womanizer, and you were interested in him as another “souvenir” for the collection. Or did he treat you badly, mock you, cheat you on dates, use your money and property? Finally, you caught him in elementary treason...

Of course, if the relationship has left mostly negative impressions, it is very difficult to treat the person well after that,” states the psychologist. - And yet it is within your power to at least maintain neutrality. Convince yourself that the scoundrel and traitor is just your colleague, co-worker, and nothing more. Well, you were wrong, it happens to everyone!

But what if you want to end the relationship, but your partner doesn’t agree? Or, on the contrary, did he leave you against your will?

If your ex-lover does not accept the breakup situation and does not want to listen to your explanations, then you can try to ignore him at first or limit communication to officialdom and solving work issues, advises Elena Godina. - If the situation is the opposite, then you should think carefully about whether you need a person who no longer has any feelings for you. And he, most likely, does not feel it, since he decided to break up.

You can think about quitting if the situation is insoluble - that is, the man continues to pursue you, demanding reciprocity, or if he initiated the breakup, and you just can’t forget him, it hurts you to see him with someone else... By the way, you don’t have to quit completely - you can look for the opportunity to transfer to another department or any other option in which you will encounter as little as possible.

Perhaps, before making any decision, you should discuss your relationship with your “ex,” says Elena Godina. - For example, you can decide whether you will remain friends, just colleagues, or whether it is better for one of you to move to another job.

Remember that the end of an office romance is not the end of your life or evidence of your failures. Learn a lesson from what happened and be open to new relationships, the psychologist advises.

From time to time they remind you of themselves. And not only lovers, but also former first loves, spouses, husbands, and even casual sex partners. Usually, they remind you of themselves on holidays. Just send a congratulatory SMS - why not? How would you like the receiving party to regard such a gesture? As a hint that they remember you and don’t mind remembering you again? Or as a thank you for a good time? Or maybe he was just looking for another number in the phone book, but came across yours and accidentally pressed “send”?

While options for reasons are scrolling through my head, memories pop up in my memory. And not those that are associated with suffering and pain experienced during separation, but those that encourage you to experience emotions again. Is it worth it?

Let's try to understand why those who have long been forgotten come back and find out whether there are advantages in resuming past romances.

The temptation to meet your ex is always there. New is well forgotten old, remember? Now we invite you to look at the situation from the positive side and evaluate the benefits that you will get by restoring the old connection.

• The good thing about the ex is that he is not a stranger. The best and worst aspects of personality have long been revealed. The companion does not need to bother getting to know her partner again: look closely, get used to it, adapt, create the appearance of a “good girl”. This stage has already been passed.
• Forgotten feelings tend to be reborn. If your partner was once in love with her lover, then now it will not be difficult to experience similar feelings. The advantage is that excitement and passion will appear immediately, without long preludes and doubts.
• There is an opportunity to show and prove that you have changed since the last meeting - you began to value yourself, for example. When you meet, you can do something that has never been done before and really surprise your chosen one. Isn't it intriguing?
• The intrigue is also in the fact that a lot of time has passed, each of you had other lovers, a different life, separate from each other, which means that you again became “unknown” and a mystery appeared in each of you. Familiar strangers are always intriguing.
• Ex-lovers usually feel guilty. Separation, as a rule, occurs because he once did not dare to leave his wife. So why don't you take the chance to calmly and tactfully discuss who is right and who is wrong? At the same time, free yourself from resentment (in an adequate form). Besides, what's better than a man trying to make amends? In this situation you will be the queen.
• And most importantly, if you have long dreamed of renewing your relationship, but never dared to call your ex, then here is your chance.

But note that pros tend to turn into cons. As at any beginning of any novel, everything here is also good only at first. But this good is more fleeting than in the romances that strangers start. After two or three meetings, both your companion and you will understand that each of you has remained the same, the mystery will turn out to be an ordinary illusion, and a stormy life will simply be an appearance. Therefore, the relationship will very quickly (faster than usual) come to the stage at which you broke up.

What do “reminders” about yourself mean?

Now we will look at several examples from real life of beautiful people who were faced with reminders from a not entirely pleasant past.

Let's start by clarifying the real reason why he wants to return.

It may be primitive, but the reason is sex. And there is no need to be upset that you were never able to achieve emotional affection from your partner. If you still have feelings and you don’t mind meeting again, then use sex for your own selfish purposes. Don't be shy. Men are designed in such a way that at the moment of conquering a sexual goal they are ready to do anything. After all, it is the process of hunting, in the understanding of the stronger sex, that is the very love that a lady strives to receive. Therefore, don’t give up quickly, enjoy the moment and get as much of what you want from the “hunter” as possible.

But let’s leave the hunt and move on to deciphering the strange behavior of the male sex with the help of the psychologist’s answers.

Question: A lover has a habit of calling and apologizing, but does not offer to restore the former connection. What does it mean?

Answer: that means he is waiting for the girl herself to take the initiative. This is a special type of man who likes to have the advantage in his hands. By offering to meet, you will give him a trump card - to break down, think, allow himself to be persuaded and thereby maintain control over the situation. Everything is simple here - this type is characterized by sick pride. However, like those men who brag to their former mistress about their new passion. If the couple broke up and the girl found someone else, then the guy just needs to do the same in revenge. And it is necessary that the ex finds out about this. This way he will prove that he is in great demand among beauties and that he has settled down well (certainly better than you). In fact, he cannot bear the fact that you, who remained HIS, now belong to someone else.

Question: a man shows signs of attention, but does not invite him on a date. How should we evaluate this behavior?

Answer: Perhaps it is just politeness and courtesy. If the breakup was painless, such attention is normal. However, he may also be testing the waters to find out if you would like to meet again? Since refusal would be a blow to self-esteem, the partner chose the tactic of slowly moving towards the goal. When he is convinced that the lady is not indifferent, he will take the first step.

Question: But here is the situation that was already mentioned earlier - every holiday the mistress receives congratulations. To respond or not to respond?

Answer: You should answer only if the girl wants her ex-lover to return. But if there is no desire, then it is better to ignore. Where is the guarantee that he has not turned on the general mailing mode and that several other ex-present-futures do not receive identical congratulations along with you? A man who wants to bring back the past associated with you will not limit himself to postcards alone. He will do things. And this can be explained by the fact that he is trying to smooth out your breakup, which, apparently, was not very beautiful. He tries to cover up bad memories with such little pleasantries, to show you that he is not offended, hoping that you will respond in kind.

Is it worth dredging up the past?

It all depends on how you broke up, how much you went through alone and how you got out of depression. If a girl has been in an emotional “hole” for a long time, then there is definitely no point in getting together again. Remember how painful the rehabilitation period was. For men it’s a little simpler - having broken off one sexual relationship, they easily start another. Emotionally, they are attached only to mothers and wives. This rarely concerns lovers. Therefore, when you take him into bed, you will return not to your former romance, but to the very point of conflict at which you parted. A repeat will occur: old wounds will open, you will want to get rid of grievances, you will again stumble upon misunderstandings, a quarrel will break out, etc. In the end, you will both regret that you decided to meet.

If people parted ways amicably, without hard feelings, then the connection can be resumed. This often happens to those who are married, do not want to get a divorce, but also do not want to “enjoy” only a bland family life.

There are also more complicated cases. Some men remind themselves because they feel incomplete in past relationships. Perhaps the connection was interrupted on the initiative of the lady, and she managed to live through the completion stage, but her partner did not.

The problem is that the young man himself often has no idea what is guiding him. A lady, receiving “reminders” from her ex, will experience discomfort and, possibly, a feeling of guilt for having made the decision to break up on her own. And a guy in such a situation is often annoying, which only makes the situation worse. A woman may respond to him with rudeness or irritation, because, feeling guilty, she does not want to admit her feelings. After all, in fact, no one owes anyone anything. In this case, it is recommended to talk openly with your partner and find out why the former lover returned, what is his goal? The lady should admit that she is not comfortable refusing meetings every time. If necessary, apologize for your past actions and offer to separate forever.