Self-esteem - what does it depend on?

The main factors that usually determine a person’s self-esteem are his status and his competence, as a guarantee of success. In addition, the opinions of others, the experience of successes and failures, and a person’s attitude towards himself usually influence. And the most important thing is that a person’s personal choice is always possible.

So, a variety of factors influencing self-esteem:

Status: his place in the hierarchy of people around him, their attitude and assessments. Someone who is a king by birthright usually has higher self-esteem than an advertisement poster who has not entered a university. Current suggestions. If you tell a person over and over again that he is a pig, it is difficult sooner or later not to grunt. The phenomenon of suggestion has not yet been canceled. Success in life or in a specific situation. If within a month a young man successfully passes difficult university exams, meets a charming girl, which reciprocates his feelings, and won a million in the lottery - most likely, his self-esteem will increase. Just up to heaven. Stereotype, influence of habit. If Human accustomed to thinking of himself as a loser, he continues to perceive himself this way even against the backdrop of success. Not everyone knows how to change their minds right away. Body drawing. Sluggish movements and slouching - self-esteem goes down, a loud, confident voice and a Corset of Confidence - self-esteem goes up. Physical condition and mood. A tired and sick person usually has less rosy ideas about himself than a healthy, cheerful and vigorous person. A person's attitude towards himself. If a person takes revenge on himself for something, he will be able to form the most disgusting impression about himself. If a person is friends with himself, he sees himself much more attractive. Belief in one's own effectiveness, confidence in success, faith in oneself and one's strengths are a wonderful help to high self-esteem. And simply - success in life! See → Personal choice. Self-esteem, by definition, is an assessment of oneself, one’s qualities and merits, which is done by the person HIMSELF. On the other hand sides, if a person does not have his own head on his shoulders, and this is not an uncommon situation, then in fact, in real self-esteem, a large part of what the person is told about him is transmitted. If Human with the head and will he decided to change his self-esteem, he is completely, although not immediately, able to do this. See→

Self-esteem and level of personal development

Way of life self-esteem and its quality in in many ways depends on the level of personal development of a person. The higher the level of personality development, the more self-assessment, the more reasonable, stable and arbitrary it is. See→

How to raise high self-esteem in a child

There are several main ways to raise a child's self-esteem. First path- Praise the child for what he has. The second is to demand more from the child, achieving better results from him. The third is to teach him, helping him master life. Western education more often follows the first path, Asian education - the second, and only rare parents combine all these three approaches. See→

Adequate self-esteem

Self-esteem can be adequate or not. Adequacy is meeting the requirements of the situation and people's expectations. If people believe that a person can cope with tasks, but he does not believe in his own strength, they speak of low self-esteem. If a person declares unrealistic plans, they speak of his inflated self-esteem. The most important criterion for the adequacy of self-esteem is the feasibility of a person’s plans.

Adequacy of private and specific situational self-esteem

Specific situational self-esteem can be fairly objectively assessed as adequate or, for example, underestimated: if experience shows that a person actually copes with tasks that he internally could not solve for a long time, it means that his self-esteem is objectively underestimated. As a rule, the adequacy of self-esteem is confirmed not only by practice (the results of which can be interpreted in different ways), but also by the opinion of authorities: specialists in the field where a person declares his claims. The adequacy of specific situational self-esteem is usually aligned with experience. See→

How to assess the adequacy of personal self-esteem?

Adequate personal self-esteem– corresponding to real results and facts, the expectations of the reference group of people, not an overestimated or underestimated assessment of one’s capabilities, one’s limitations and one’s place among people (more broadly, one’s place in life). The self-esteem of an immature personality usually depends on the assessments of others, who themselves are not always adequate. The more mature a person is, the more adequate his personal self-esteem is. And vice versa, the more adequate a person’s self-esteem is, the more this indicates his maturity. See→

Inadequate self-esteem as work task and as a psychotherapeutic problem

Inadequate self-esteem may need to be changed (for example, made more adequate), but this specific person can be treated both as a work task and as a personal, psychotherapeutic problem. He will solve the problem (he defined the context, specified the goal, formed the points of the plan, began to work), more often people worry about the problem. And they turn to psychologists and psychotherapists.

Specific situational self-esteem is more often posed as a work task, personal self-esteem is more often experienced as a personal, psychotherapeutic problem. See Translating a problem into a task

Why do you need to figure out whether your self-esteem is adequate or not?

Determining the adequacy of self-esteem makes it possible to:

give recommendations on increasing or decreasing Ambitions and Level of Aspirations, and speak in general about the greater or lesser Personal Adequacy of a person.

The main factors that usually determine a person’s self-esteem are his status and his competence, as a guarantee of success. In addition, the opinions of others, the experience of successes and failures, and a person’s attitude towards himself usually influence. And most importantly, a person’s personal choice is always possible.

So, a variety of factors influencing self-esteem:

• Status: his place in the hierarchy of people around him, their attitude and assessments. Someone who is a king by birthright usually has higher self-esteem than an advertisement poster who has not entered a university.
• Current suggestions. If you tell a person over and over again that he is a pig, it is difficult sooner or later not to grunt. The phenomenon of suggestion has not yet been canceled.
• Success in life or in a specific situation. If within a month a young man successfully passes difficult university exams, meets a charming girl who reciprocates his feelings, and wins a million in the lottery, his self-esteem will most likely increase. Just up to heaven.
• Stereotype, influence of habit. If a person is used to thinking of himself as a loser, he continues to perceive himself this way even against the backdrop of success. Not everyone knows how to change their minds right away.
• Body drawing. Sluggish movements and slouching - self-esteem goes down, a loud, confident voice and a corset of confidence - self-esteem goes up.
• Physical condition and mood. A tired and sick person usually has less rosy ideas about himself than a cheerful and vigorous person.
• A person's attitude towards himself. If a person takes revenge on himself for something, he will be able to form the most disgusting impression about himself. If a person is friends with himself, he sees himself much more attractive.
• Belief in one's own effectiveness, confidence in success, faith in oneself and one's strengths are a wonderful help to high self-esteem. And simply - success in life! See>
• Personal choice. Self-esteem, by definition, is an assessment of oneself, one’s qualities and merits, which is made by the person HIMSELF. On the other hand, if a person does not have his own head on his shoulders, and this is not an uncommon situation, then in fact, in real self-esteem, a large part of what is being said to the person is transmitted. If a person with the head and will decided to change his self-esteem, he can completely, although not immediately, do this. See>

Self-esteem and level of personal development

The way of life of self-esteem and its quality largely depends on the level of personal development of a person. The higher the level of personality development, the more “self-assessment” it is, the more reasonable, stable and arbitrary it is. See>

How to raise high self-esteem in a child

There are several main ways to raise a child's self-esteem. The first way is to praise the child for what he has. The second is to demand more from the child, achieving better results from him. The third is to teach him, helping him master life. Western education more often follows the first path, Asian education - the second, and only rare parents combine all these three approaches. See>

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Self-esteem or self-confidence, like many others personal qualities begins to form in childhood. Our parents have a great influence on this quality. If in childhood our parents could not make us feel their unconditional love, then problems with self-esteem are inevitable.

Every person desperately needs to be accepted and loved for who they are. This is especially significant for a child, because in childhood the foundation for the formation of personality is laid. Very often, parents show their love according to the principle of “deserved - undeserved.”

The criteria can be good grades, help around the house, exemplary behavior, etc. As a result, the child develops the belief that love for him depends on how good he is by one measure or another. This belief is then carried into adulthood.

And then, as adults, people begin to think that they do not deserve love or any benefits because they do not meet certain criteria. But in fact, these criteria and frameworks are fictitious. For example, some girls think that they are unworthy of the love of the guy they like because they are not beautiful enough. Wives allow their husbands to humiliate themselves because they subconsciously think that they do not deserve any other treatment.

Low self-esteem can be reflected not only in relationships, but also in other areas of life: career, work, hobbies. A hated job with a meager salary and a dictatorial boss is also a sign of its manifestation. A person does not believe in his abilities and is afraid to take a step towards change. He thinks that he is not smart enough, brave enough, independent enough, etc.

The same thing happens with your favorite activities and hobbies. People do not allow themselves to engage in them, they condemn themselves for them, thinking that these activities are empty and worthless. Thus, they limit their energy and abilities. After all, a favorite activity, even the most insignificant at first glance, reflects the abilities inherent in us. And if you develop them, then ultimately you can achieve success and recognition.

The fear of taking responsibility and making any decisions related to change is based solely on a lack of faith in oneself and one’s strengths. And this unbelief originates in a number of circumstances that took place in our lives earlier. Parents who never praised their child or talked about his merits, but only criticized his mistakes and shortcomings. Teachers who did not notice the talents of their students, but paid attention only to weaknesses. This is enough to make even the most naturally gifted person feel inferior and defective.

In fact, there are no people without abilities. Each person is a unique individual with enormous potential and unique abilities. The main thing is to believe in it, find them in yourself and constantly develop them.

Self-esteem can be influenced by some negative experience from the past, situations associated with failures, failures in certain endeavors. It is important not to focus on these negative aspects. This is just an experience from which you can learn. If you have a great desire to implement your plans, then there will definitely be opportunities, you just need to start taking the first steps.

It is quite possible to develop any quality, even such as confidence. And it’s better to start with knowing yourself, trusting your feelings, true desires. Because awareness of your essence, your abilities and life values will be the first step towards self-confidence.

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Self-esteem plays one of the key roles in our lives. Confident people with high self-esteem It is always easier to achieve success in all areas of life. What do we mean by self-esteem? What's wrong with high self-esteem? How to increase your self-confidence? We will try to answer all these questions in this article.

What does it mean to be confident?

Self-esteem is an individual’s assessment of himself, his capabilities, qualities and place among other people. Self-esteem is a characteristic that can be controlled. Moreover, you can control it, and so can those around you.

What depends on self-esteem:

• Relationships with others.
• Demanding on yourself.
• Attitude to successes and failures.

People with low self-esteem take even small failures very hard.

The formation of self-esteem begins in childhood and continues into adolescence.

Modern psychotherapists distinguish three types of self-esteem:

1. Positive self-esteem is formed if parents love, respect, value their child’s successes, and encourage initiative.
2. Negative self-esteem on the contrary, it is formed if the baby is in a dependent, subordinate position, he is constantly criticized.
3. IN adolescence As a rule, all children feel the need for self-affirmation and the desire to find their place in life. It is very important to instill in your child adequate self-esteem, praise him and support his endeavors and successes.

There are often people with high self-esteem. It would seem that confidence is top level, what's wrong here? But this gives a person a distorted concept of reality, which can ultimately lead to negative consequences. The most harmless thing that can happen is that you will simply be ridiculed. It is important to adequately evaluate yourself so as not to find yourself in an awkward situation.

Adequate self-esteem is a person’s ability to evaluate his real merits. Sometimes it is very difficult to understand yourself and understand where this golden mean in assessing your personality.

What should you pay attention to?

What should you pay attention to when analyzing self-esteem?

Praise and criticize yourself. Notice whether you praise or criticize yourself more. You should definitely praise yourself, even for minor achievements.

Childhood: were your parents happy or unhappy with you? Our mothers and fathers can, without malicious intent, create insecurity in us with their criticism. In any case, you need to analyze your childhood and start working on your self-esteem on your own.

What qualities in other people attract you? An example should always be taken from the best. If you find it difficult to understand yourself, pay attention to how confident people behave. Communicate with successful and confident people, learn everything you need to gain confidence.

What is your reaction to insults and insults? A self-confident person will not pay attention to insults and comments addressed to him. At most he will respond with the same coin. On the contrary, even a harmless remark can unsettle a woman with low self-esteem.

How does the process of falling asleep occur? If you fall asleep without problems and nothing bothers you, then everything is clear - everything is in order with your self-esteem. But if you can’t fall asleep for a long time and are engaged in introspection, then your self-confidence is clearly weak.

How to increase self-esteem?

Don't compare yourself to other people. And if you compare, then you need to be equal to the best.

Take care of yourself. New hairstyle, stylish wardrobe and toned body will increase your confidence in your attractiveness. And this is already half the success.

Create uniqueness. Be unique. No need to copy anyone, create your own unique world. Radiate positivity.

Filter criticism. Don't take other people's opinions to heart. Often they just want to hurt and offend us. Always remain confident.

Hang out with nice people. Surround yourself with positive people who energize you good emotions. We humans are herd creatures and communication is very important to us. Be positive and you will attract good people.

Practice psychotechnics (self-hypnosis, meditation). It is no longer news that all life is built by the power of our thoughts. Work on your inner self. Let joy and confidence always reign inside, then your life will go as you wish.

Be sure to love and appreciate yourself. And then life will give you gifts in return, and the most worthy men and good friends will be next to you.